How they clean the windows at the Shard...

Just in case you were wondering...Yeah, it's the scary way, with ropes and actual climbing...*shudder*...

London Bridge Sleepers

Spotted these the other day, while I was sat on a train awaiting a platform at London Bridge (you may want to zoom in by clicking to get a better look)...I don't know about you, but to me, those sleepers look just a little bit worse for wear...in fact, I would go so far as to say that they wouldn't look out of place sticking out of the sea as the weather beaten remains of a ruined pier (certainly when compared to the nice new ones next to them)...!

I'm sure they are perfectly safe though... 

Earlswood Bike update

Double checked this morning...not sure when the signs first appeared, I noticed them on the morning of the 22nd, but I suppose they could have been there since Monday, but either way - the little notices say that the bikes would be "removed and disposed of" if the owners didn't wheel them away within 72 hours!  We'll see what's happened tomorrow morning, but if the threat was real, those three labelled bikes should be gone... :0

Still seems a little harsh - there isn't even a little sign telling you this might happen if you leave your bike here - not that I would have left my bike for ages, but I would have assumed it would have been (apart from bike thieves) pretty safe locked up at a station - certainly from the staff!

Original post was here...

Stray Dogs in Lewisham

So, the other day, for no particular reason other than arriving slightly earlier than normal (and being a bit curious), I decided to take a little walk around Lewisham...and promptly wished I hadn't bothered...*hoards* of fighting school children (yelling in no language I could identify) threatening to knock over scared looking commuters (running the gauntlet from the bus station to the entrance to the DLR)-

- I didn't dare get out even my telephone in the midst of that little riot, let alone my camera...scooting past I came upon a tiny little green patch, strewn with discarded Special Brew/White Lightning cans where a small pack of (obviously well fed) stray dogs were feasting on heaps of discarded "Favorite Abhorred Fried Chicken" bones, shedding greasy stools over the tarmac -

- drinking from puddles, sipping stale remnants from the cans -

- and performing opportunist sniffing raids on Al Fresco breakfast plates for more greasy abandoned morsels...

Put it this way, on a first impressions basis, Lewisham wasn't scoring terribly highly...

I felt uncomfortable, and that feeling didn't leave me (100%) for the rest of the day, which bothered me a bit...I mean, I'm quite used to London (Per se) and have certainly seen similar, if not actually worse, (I mean, I've wandered around Chinatown in New York shooting the graffiti without the smile leaving my face) -

- and I used to have the pleasure of working in pre-regeneration cash Kings Cross -

- so what was it about Lewisham? My solution? I kept on going back, saying "Good Morning" to the guy that gives out the Metro, finding the local supermarket to buy my milk (instead of popping to Tesco or Waitrose in the Wharf), exploring some of the local shops, and now I'm walking around bold as brass (and shooting, as you can see)...

So, maybe it was just that...a bad first impression... ;)

Gatwick Express Train Surfing?

I have just been seriously freaked out, when the Gatwick Express zoomed past Earlswood station about thirty minutes ago I heard someone shouting 'Help! Help! Help!', I looked up and down the train, but as it was traveling so quickly it was impossible to be sure no-one was clinging on for dear life, desperately regretting their decision to copy those train surfing vids on YouTube...next stop the Station Mistress, who also had heard something very odd (and getting clarification she wasn't hearing things trotted off to ring it in)...

I just hope it was either a collective hallucination or some bedraggled wreck falls, largely unhurt, off the back of the train when it pulls in at East Croydon or London Victoria (and isn't now laying broken in a ditch only to be reported missing by worried family later on today)...what a scary start to the day though... <:0

Very Important - Drowning doesn't look like drowning

Really have to share this...apparently when most people start to drown they go into a state known as the "Instinctive Drowning Response", and I quote "It is the number two cause of accidental death in children, age 15 and under (just behind vehicle accidents) – of the approximately 750 children who will drown next year, about 375 of them will do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult. In ten percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch them do it, having no idea it is happening"...

Drowning people cannot call out...
Drowning people cannot wave...
Drowning people cannot grab rescue equipment...
Drowning people frequently look like someone bobbing happily on the surface...

Do yourself (and your kids - if you have any) a favour and read the full article here...

DLR - Scary Teeth Doors

Love these signs on the DLR...don't worry, the doors don't really have big scary teeth...certainly makes the odd tourist do a double take though... ;)

Mossad Agents in our Midst?

Since the assassination of Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai, I've not been able to get the thought out of my head that this sort of "James Bond" shit is actually very real...I read a good bit of background shortly after the news broke which really made me think...especially the comments from author Gordon Thomas, who wrote a book about Mossad agents, specifically the "Kidon" called Gideon's Spies...The kidon, he says, are hand-picked when taking part in compulsory national service, sent into military intelligence and from there receive further training as Mossad agents. They work in big teams, but don't work in isolation, a system of "Sayanim" (support agents) provide help on the ground - a quote again now - "The sayanim can be anywhere around the world. They can rent you a car or own a fast food stall. A sayan will rent a car or pass money to a kidon with no questions asked. Every country has a network of sayanim built from the Jewish community"...

So whenever I pass one of these little stalls now (and they *litter* London), I can't help but wonder...is the person running it just another mild-mannered economic migrant, or are they a highly skilled, ruthless Jewish Sayan (trained in handgun marksmanship, improvised bomb making, poison fabrication and delivery, seduction techniques and methods of killing without leaving a trace)...sitting there, waiting...patiently serving coffee...until the proper order arrives...

"One special latte with extra banana froth and sprinkles please"...*prolonged sinister wink*...

Baby Gap Canary Wharf - Window Dressing

Only shop dummies, I know, but something about the way they had just been piled up in the window of Baby Gap in Canary Wharf made me do a little involuntary shiver! <:0

Especially that shoe just thrown on top...

Free Wet Umbrella Cover - Canary Wharf

Well, well, well...looks like something has come out of the slip testing they were conducting in reception of One Canada Square earlier on in the year...I've commented before on how terrifyingly treacherous walking can get on some of the highly polished stone walkways after a shower, and now it seems that something has been done to try and combat it...Next to the doorways into the lower ground floor of our office these little dispensing machines have appeared, the idea being that instead of walking along with your wet umbrella dripping water all over the slippery marble floor, you pause, and tuck it into one of these little plastic bags (for free) to save everyone from slipping over in the little trail you have left...

Quite how successful this will be in practice, when there is a queue of busy commuters debating with themselves whether to continue standing patiently in the rain until their turn to wrap their umbrella up arrives, of course, remains to be seen... ;)

Delivery by c-section, Dad's perspective

...and so that was it, they left us alone to have a little cry and try to get used to the idea that we were about to go through major surgery and much sooner than expected be holding our new baby, but it was abundantly clear that there was some considerable urgency in getting the procedure underway, before we knew it Flyingpops was being rolled down the corridor towards the birthing centre...I had to hurriedly change into some fetching blue surgical attire (the trousers were both way too short on the leg and far too wide at the waist, threatening to fall down all the time as well as make me look quite ridiculous) -

- and then, after a quick trip up the hall to one of the theatres (me scrambling around for camera and the CD Flyingpops had wanted during labour, scuttling after the rapidly vanishing bed), Flyingpops was hooked up to all sorts of machines (during which she managed to convince one of the nurses to let her try a gasp of gas and air - her only go at any of the other forms of pain relief) -

- and the injection of opiate drugs was administered into her spine (they had to stop and wait during contractions as there is danger of paralysis if the patient moves while they are inserting the needle, bit scary!), meanwhile I handed the CD over to one of the other nurses (original cast Joseph)...

I was handed a pair of wellington boots (which were about 3 sizes too small, but were the largest that they had) as I pulled them on I noted with no little amount of alarm that they came pre-blood stained (this had the potential to be quite messy then) and offered a chair...Flyingpops was put into position on the operating table, her lower half gradually loosing it's capacity to move (which she found most odd) and any ability to feel pain (there was still some gentle sensation of touch) which the anesthetist tested using what looked like a lemon flavoured ice lolly...when Flyingpops could feel nothing very much at all a screen was clipped in front of us, so neither of us could see the bump, and the three surgeons got down to work, talking quietly to one another in Doctor's cant...Flyingpops was smiling and happy throughout the procedure, which lasted a shockingly short amount of time before one of the doctors was saying "Congratulations!" and holding up a slimy, grey, blood streaked tangle of arms, legs and loud wails...I *thought* at this stage (as the baby was whisked away to be cleaned) I had spotted some testicles, but I couldn't *quite* be sure...so I told Flyingpops it *might* be a boy, but I would have to check...

I was then invited around the curtain, as I stood up I saw all the tools of the trade (and quite a number of bloody swabs), passing the foot of the bed I couldn't help glance back at the surgeons working (not something I will forget in a hurry, but not as terrible a picture as my mind had been conjuring) and then I was presented to my baby, offered a pair of scissors (which I asked the nurse to confirm were extremely sharp, for some odd reason)...and then, as the nurses shielded their bodies and masks, I cut the cord (which I didn't think I would be able to do)...it's quite a messy process, the blood in there is under a lot of pressure and it sprays out a little like a slightly shaken Coke can...and then I came back to Flyingpops and told her that it was indeed a boy...

Seconds later Mummy and baby were united...phew!

The bit that really took the time (as of course it would do), was all the stitching up afterwards, during this, one of the surgeons fainted (fell flat on the floor!) and had to be rescued by colleagues and taken out of the theatre...Flyingpops told me that she could feel them working on her torso, but the sensation felt a little like a washing machine churning around (yes, the drugs I recon)! ;) When they were all done I went around to check what the wound looked like and it was incredible, a barely visible red line, like a scratch from a blackberry plant, not a single stitch was apparent, almost like nothing had happened at all!

And before we knew it I was returning my boots, getting changed back into my civilian clothes and joining Mum and baby in one of the delivery rooms...!

Earlswood - Giant Spider on the loose

Wonderful...according to the local paper, the chief shed installation technician for our local garden centre opened up a flat packed shed that they had shipped in from China and found a fully grown (and by that I mean the size of a human hand) Huntsman Spider lurking inside...instead of killing it with fire or smashing it to pieces with a shovel, he did what any sane individual would do - he caught it inside a cardboard box and took it home to show his girlfriend...only by the time he had made it back to the house he had "forgotten" that it was in his van...yep, those sort of things just slip the mind so easily! Anyway, when he finally remembered (the next day) he didn't call up environmental health, his local zoo, or even a vet...no, after some consideration they decided that the best course of action would be to put a picture of it up on Facebook (of course!) so all his non-zoologist friends could offer their expert opinion, and off the back of "eventually someone wrote and said it looked like a huntsman" they decided to take it upon themselves to release it into the local community as it was "probably safe"...

Brilliant...!

A proper expert was later quoted as saying that the next very cold winter would "probably" kill it (unless it takes up residence in a loft, or an under stairs cupboard, or a cosy shed)...

St Thomas' Hospital - Antenatal Unit

Sorry for not posting the last couple of days...things have been rather...interesting, shall we say...

Looking back, everything actually sort of started on Monday (which seems an awfully long way away now), Flyingpops was complaining that she was in quite a bit of pain, which she was putting down to indigestion, so we self-medicated her with a glug or two of Gaviscon, some deflatine tablets and a warm bath, still managing to get to work on Tuesday (thinking all was well)...the next thing I know, having got almost to home time, I have Flyingpops on the 'phone clearly very upset telling me the pain has got a lot worse and that she had just seen a little blood - she had already rung East Surrey and they had told her not to muck about trying to get home, just get to the nearest hospital as quickly as possible...minutes later (after Flyingpops has managed to get to Guy's hospital and been told that they don't have an antenatal unit (Grrr!), she is referred to St Thomas') we have managed to find each another at a buzzing London Bridge station (just starting to get into rush-hour mode) and score a taxi (which then proceeds to get caught at every single traffic light on the route) and shortly after that we are hurrying towards the Antenatal Triage department on the 7th floor of the North building of St Thomas' hospital (with all sorts of dreadful thoughts running through our heads)...

When we *finally* get past the Midwives confusion over the fact that the pregnancy notes are totally different for this health authority (even down to different coloured paper), we have to fill out a bunch more forms (something about blood tests not being possible at this hospital otherwise) and they start running (what will turn out to be) the first of a *lot* of tests...urine comes back normal (that one takes seconds), and then the baby monitor is on, after an agonising few seconds a familiar "whoosh, woosh, woosh" noise emerges from the speaker, Flyingpops looks up at the midwife and says "Is that the baby?", and putting her hand on Flyingpops shoulder, the midwife smiles and nods...

Thank *God* for that...

But the fun isn't over yet, next stop is the antenatal day unit to get the pain/bleeding checked out...again the monitor goes on, and this time some extra blood gets taken (three vials) from Flyingpops left arm at the elbow joint -

- during which I point out interesting things happening on the Thames out the window while Flyingpops tries to smile and ignore the needle...a doctor comes and pokes and prods the bump, and pronounces that this pain is extremely unusual...examining the output from the machine, he starts to point out spikes clearly (to him) showing the start of (fairly irregular) contractions...things got a little bit gynaecological at this point, but the net result is that the baby appeared to be trying to be born and was in completely the wrong position to do so (not to mention extremely early)...a hurried conversation overheard between two doctors through the flimsy curtain informs us that a delivery suite was being prepared for us, and that an urgent c-section was definitely on the cards...

Flyingpops is told not to eat or drink anything (part of being prepped for surgery), and before too long we are whipped along to the delivery room, where we meet our midwife for the night shift (and her boss), who between them manage to make a bit of a mess of poor Flyingpops hands -

- and then put her on a drip to keep her hydrated, and then we are left to our own devices, knowing that at any minute we could be parents of a very tiny baby, in an incubator...later on that evening Flyingpops is given a steroid injection to super-charge the little one's lung development (that it may very soon be relying on for oxygen)...and then, despite the promise of a mattress which never materialised, I snatch a tiny amount of disturbed sleep curled up on the delivery room floor, a tiny baby towel folded up under my ear to keep my head off the cold ground, and a single sheet which all night long I change my mind about whether draping it over my body or trying to bunch it onto lumps under my body in an attempt to protect my joints is the better approach...neither were much good, and the next day I'm aching all over, feeling very much like I've just taken a red eye flight from the US...bleugh...and Flyingpops hasn't slept a wink...

Anyway, finally we then get a bit of good news, brought to us in the hand of an elderly orderly - a breakfast menu - the doctor has announced that the fast is over, Flyingpops can eat(!) - and with it is removed any risk of being suddenly rushed into theatre...*phew*...from here on in, we crept slowly back down the risk scale, moving later that day to one of the regular antenatal wards where Flyingpops was observed regularly, but not quite as often, and there are also a few people to talk to (as a bonus), one lady who was 2 days from delivering twins, and one poor girl who had been stuck in the hospital for 4 *weeks* with high blood pressure...and these are our (sometimes noisy) companions until the last test results come back (yesterday) and Flyingpops is finally allowed to come home...

So we very, very nearly had a picture of a premature baby to show to you this week...and now, if you will excuse me (to quote John Travolta) I'm going to go and have a heart attack... ;)

Our scary office microwave

Yes, it's an 1800w catering oven, capable of reducing your dinner to a small pile of cinders in the time it takes you to fill up your water bottle, accidentally follow the cooking instructions on your dinner, or just stick something on for 3 minutes and you are in a world of (terribly overcooked) pain...the chart on it doesn't even show the true power (it being for a measly 1700w microwave)...

Want to warm up some lunch here, you got to be on your toes... ;)

Kansas Street after Tornado...

Kansas Street
Originally uploaded by Alternative Energy Solutions.

Hrm, America isn't having much fun at the moment then...puts the Jubilee Line closures into perspective...

Mmmmm...Chewing gum...

I ate so much chewing gum during the day on Monday that when I got home and tried to eat my dinner (yummy roast left-overs) my mouth was too tired to work properly...this is wrong! As a result, I've had to hide the container in my desk drawer to stop my hands doing that Homer Simpson "Ooooo!" thing whenever I loose concentration...

This is particularly odd as I really don't have much of a sweet tooth...

Bug Jam Show Guide, in Kings Cross??!

Now, although this isn't *quite* the spookiest thing to ever happen to me, it ranks pretty damn near to it - Lunch time, I take a quick walk, enjoying the sunshine (curse it for coming too late!), get as far as Lavina Grove (down Wharfdale Road) and have to do a double take at the tattered bit of paper laying in the street in front of me...quickly followed (as I fumbled to find the camera in my rucksack) with an explaination to the two very confused builders sat watching me, mid-mothful of tea...

It was (although my mind was telling repeatedly me how staggeringly unlikely it actually was to be) a massively transported show guide for Bug Jam...sat, battered by repeatedly being run over, rain soaked, most of the pages missing, but still, unmistakably, the remains of a show guide handed out, one per car/bus upon entrance to the Bug Jam festival over the weekend...

This is **way** beyond coincidence...

How lunch arrives...

Hrm...buckets and bin bags (and 24 hours too early?), spotted this on Tuesday lunchtime sitting on the floor in the corner of the office canteen (covered in cling film and labelled "Veg Chow Mein" and "Rice"), well, Renemy spotted it actually and I ran up with her (not really believing what I was being told)...still maintained the thought it was almost certainly rubbish *really* until she told me that it showed up on the menu yesterday...urk...hope it didn't sit on the floor for too long, if that was the case it probably should have been in the 'fridge... >;S

Severe Weather Warnings - South East England

Oh dear, not the sort of thing one expects to normally see on a map of the south eastern portion of the United Kingdom...the red bits on the map above are regions where the MET Office have issued "Severe Weather Warnings", this means danger to the public, in this case, in the form of flooding or dangerous road conditions...or in First Capital Connect's case, the railway, being about the only main route into London which regularly has to close due to flooding (at Moorgate, this time)...and this may shock you, they managed to close it due to flooding *this* morning, before the rain has even hit! Knocked out by the weather little Alexander managed to ignore while walking around the farm yesterday, impressive, eh?

Anyway, we will see what happens (The Express is confidently annoucing that we are due to have the wettest day in 50 years), but it's not due to hit us here in London until about 1330hrs...meaning I could be in for quite a soaking on the way home (assuming all the trains and buses are even running)!

Update - So, made it home, only one shower en route, even managed to make the direct bus, did, however, get back to find the new gazebo absolutely ruined, poles twisted out of all recognition, and Wimbledon coverage on the TV is just showing replays, so there are obviously pockets of what the rest of the country is suffering around this area!

Night Terrors

I was just about drifting off to sleep at about half eleven last night, swimming half way between the land of nod and reality when the peaceful dripping from one of the bathroom taps (it's still not quite used to being under full water pressure), was suddenly interrupted by Flyingpops letting out the single most blood curdling scream (absolutely at the top of her voice) that I have *ever*, *EVER* heard...it was the kind of scream that should only really come out of the mouth of someone watching their baby falling into a mincing machine, or their boyfriend being decapitated by grizzly bears...it was absolutely *heart-stopping*...suffice it to say I woke bolt upright (wondering who had been murdered) and span over, to find Flyingpops shaking her head a little, at which point she said "Where am I Fink?"...shaking myself into rationality I just about managed a "You are safe and sound in bed, but I wouldn't be bloody surprised if half the street hasn't just called the police!" at which she rolled over and went straight back to sleep...I think it took me an hour before I was able to relax enough to loosen my fingers from where they had locked around the pillow...

I might have to confiscate that Ken Follett book she is reading, images of torture and throat slitting running around in her subconscious are not congenial with me getting a peaceful night's sleep...