London Bridge Chaos!

Argh...and I thought I had cleverly missed all the mess...!

With my usual platforms now completely destroyed (as I mentioned previously) - the journey into London Bridge has been much the same as normal (just slightly narrower platforms to disembark - walking up the train instead of the platform skips the queue - so no big deal)...getting home again last night was another matter entirely though (I'm hoping this was just a blip, but last night no-one knew where to go - it was bedlam) -





I'm fairly sure I visited all the remaining platforms at least twice before I found a train heading in the direction I wanted...so things aren't quite sorted yet...see how we go tonight...welcome back to work, Fink! >:P

London Bridge new platforms open!

Soooo...back from happy holidays (and look - all the new platforms are finished and open at London Bridge!  So glad I missed all that nonsense...), only one day of disaster to report (holiday was largely great weather and great fun) - the day we were supposed to pack up and move from Bude to Warminster (and do Wookey Hole) we had got up early, packed up the car, unpacked the car again to find the kids shoes, packed up the car again, handed our keys back to reception, strapped everyone in, waved to Nanjan and Pops (who were there to see us off and help out with baby-sitting during the packing process - thanks for that!) turned the key in the ignition - aaaand - NOTHING!

The guys from the caravan park were extremely helpful, tried (in vain) to jump start us with the puny battery from their little white van and so we called the AA...(trying to make it sound like we were in a more terrible position than we actually were) and then began a wait of almost two hours without a single update (which I am generously attributing to the 95% lack of mobile signal in the entire South West)...when the nice AA guy finally arrived (from just up the road), he ran a battery test and held up the machine to show me the "BATTERY FAIL - REPLACE" message but was happy to let us sail away into the (now afternoon) sun so long as we didn't turn the car off until we got to Warminster (where he would arrange a new battery to be waiting for us at around 5pm)...

Off we went and (of course) the M5 was a car park, so we swung off onto to the A303 tightly crossing our fingers (which turned out to also be a car park as a direct result of the M5 being a car park)...so we covered the kids ears, cursed, and drove, very slowly, towards our destination, past signs to Wookey Hole (having no time to visit it now - telling disappointed little ones that we would have another go in October half term), time now getting tight, we pulled off the A303 onto some tiny little roads following the Garmins instructions and hit the centre of a tiny town where there was a closed road which the Garmin was absolutely adamant we take (even when we were 3 miles past it, it was *insisting* we go back before it would issue any further directions - argh)...!

It was just about now, pretty much lost, with no mobile internet to get directions from Google maps, time running out to meet our battery man that Poppy was sick...*very* sick...all over the back of the car, including getting some onto Thomas, who was not amused, and Annabelle decided that it was dinner time and started screaming like we were trying to murder her...and it was in this exact fashion that we finally clawed our way into the car park at Warminster Travelodge (after five hours on the road instead of the predicted two)...head and hands up against the windows looking and feeling a little like an Edvard Munch composition...

The battery was finally replaced about an hour later (the AA guy got stuck in traffic too), and actually, even though it seemed like it might be the cherry on the top of the cake, our dinner at Little Chef that evening was a pleasant surprise...I recommend the "foot-long" (it isn't quite) Chilli Dog... ;)

Nappy Vending Machines...

...spotted in the wild (and in a gents loo too)!

So, two things must have happened (to add this to the usual clunky mix of boxes blocking the way to have a quick wee in the boys toilets) -

• The rusty old condom vending machine *almost* works (nice try - as it's still in the way it's obviously making money) but didn't (in the end) - "bear fruit"
• The breath-freshener/legal high/Horny Goat weed tablet vending machine works amazingly well (it's the same amount of pound coins as the condom one)...

However, from my point of view there is only one really important fact that is *certainly* true - and Babycare, this message is for you - £1.50 for two baby wipes doesn't really cut the mustard...are you trying to set Dads up?  The very next conversation is going to be - "Urm, well done for taking her to get changed, but you haven't done it very well have you??", "Fink - SHE SMELLS - did you clean her bottom properly?", "Oh just give her here"...

Argh! :P

London Bridge Platform 11

...was our final destination today (thanks to the ongoing improvement works at the station)...and oh boy is it narrow...I timed it, it took me seven minutes to get from my seat all the way to the ticket barrier (and this includes tutting, giving up waiting, getting back on the train at the next door and walking down the aisle in the middle instead - which surprisingly few other people did)...*very* annoying...hope this isn't our new normal platform! :(

Earlswood Station Rain storm...

...it's just absolutely horrible at the moment (last couple of communting days exactly the same)...today the early train was completely cancelled thanks to flooding at Christ's hospital...this can't have been a surprise can it?  Could they not have started it from Horsham on this occasion?  What about tomorrow?

Zoe, zoe, zoe...

...yeah, so I'm still trying to work out how best to use Zoe...you can do this sort of thing...(it's an automatic process, but from the looks of things they only stay on the server for 700 days)...I really wish you could upload the excellent slideshow (there may yet be a way I haven't discovered), but when I had a look at the files on my storage card this morning --over the weekend-- I took 5.1Gb of Zoe "pictures"...this is just *way* too much to use for routine purposes, finding space for all the Canon shots is bad enough, no way I can cope with that sort of volume of files...!  So I'm going to have to prune very carefully and Flickr I think...

There was also a rumour of a load more dropbox space for getting this telephone, so I'll have to look into that also...humph... :S

Update - Ah, what I am after is actually called a Zoe "Video Highlight", I'll have a play and get back to you... ;)

A lovely trip to Blackheath...

Well, that's the second time now, work a bit late, just a little bit...the sort of little bit that makes you think you might *just* make your normal train (if you really hurry)...trotted as quick as I could to Charing Cross (through the throng, cursing the long wait on the traffic lights), look up and spot a train leaving in one minute put on an extra burst of speed and just make it as the doors are closing...sit down, all smug (if a little puffed out) and then feel my smile drain away as we pull straight through London Bridge without stopping, passing my waiting connection sitting on platform 12...next stop? Blackheath...even further away than Lewisham (and in completely the wrong direction to get me home)...still, spotted this interesting sign on the railway bridge there when I was crossing over to wait for a train to take me all the way back to London Bridge to have another go at getting home! Less haste, more speed...!

Android Spam Notifier bar - How to Remove Zoosk

Ah well, that was nice while it lasted...you know, having my device all to myself, the only apps running being the ones *I* want to run...about a week ago a strange little star started appearing in my notifier bar prompting me to "Find local singles in my area" from a company called "Zoosk" (this was after I updated a few apps), so I knew *something* had installed some push advertising onto my 'droid without my permission. The only problem? I kind of like all my apps...

Thankfully there was a fairly simple, two step solution to the problem (follow me in this direction if you have a similar issue) -

1) Go into the "Market" app, hit the "Menu" button, choose "Settings" then scroll down and uncheck the box next to "Receive interest-based ads", then hit back until you get back to the home screen...
2) Next, go into "Settings", choose "About phone", choose "Phone identity" then go here on your PC browser - http://www.airpush.com/imei/ - carefully type in your EMEI number (from the phone screen) and then hit "Submit"...

...and that, for the time being at least, should be the end of the spam messages and (for bonus points) let you carry on with your existing apps without interruption or removal...if, by some horrible development those steps don't work, then make sure to only update/install one app at a time, keeping an eye open for spam and then leave very negative comments in the marketplace for the evil culprit... >:(

Oh, and for the record, the evil app in question on my phone was "Blogger-droid" (which I still think is very useful and good, *despite* this little hiccup)...

Car in the middle of Woodlands Road

Why, oh why does this sort of thing always seem to happen to me? Especially when I'm supposed to be hurrying home to babysit Thomas...thought I was doing quite well to start with, managed to score a "fast" bus yesterday from Redhill (the one that goes via the hospital *before* going half way round the rest of Surrey) got as far as Woodlands Road and a car rolled backwards, directly across the road in front of us and pulled suddenly to a halt, then proceeding to just sit there (as you can see it above), we waited, and waited as a little traffic jam formed on either side of it until finally I decided I had waited long enough and told the driver I would hop off and go and see what was going on, when I got up there a small group of local residents had begun to gather around it (having come out to discover why quite so many car horns were suddenly blaring out in their quiet little road) and it quickly became apparent that there was no driver in it! Evidently what had happened was that the handbrake had either *partially* failed, or wasn't applied properly enough to counteract gravity and it had bumped itself down into the road (completely blocking it) and then (miraculously) managed to reapply itself *just* before it struck the two cars parked on the opposite side of the road...I spoke to the residents, they said they knew who the owner was, but they had tried and there was no answer from their door...a little frustrated I tried to push the car (on my own) but the handbrake (of course) was now firmly wedged on...the bus driver tried in vain to reverse up the road (more cars and buses kept on arriving behind us), some of the residents announced the police had been called, but despite much false hope (sirens in the distance that then just faded away) no rescue arrived. Eventually nurses due for start of their shifts at the hospital were forced to give up and start walking the rest of the way and then, when I had almost decided that I was going to have to do the same a bloke appeared next to me, as I was giving another desperate shove to the back of the vehicle and announced that you can trick a handbrake into disengaging (momentarily) by bumping the back of the car up and down, we did this, and lo and behold, it moved - just a little bit - at this two other people from the crowd, heartened by our minor success, came and joined in, and so, with much bumping and huffing and shoving, we managed to get the car back up onto the drive, calling out (fairly urgently) for bricks (before it rolled back and ran us all over) which duly appeared from the garden of a lady from over the road...the bus driver was extremely grateful (having done absolutely nothing to help) and I got a few smiles and waves from the remaining couple of passengers when I got back on board, but of course everyone we picked back up along the way had no idea of my role in their rescue, so I had to content myself with modesty (and only being half an hour later than usual)...

TFL SNAFU

A really hearty well done there...*again*...especially as we are, oh so ready for 2012, apparently...

Lewisham in the sunshine...

Had a bit more of a chance to walk around this morning, thanks to the DLR breaking down...doesn't look half as bad on a nice sunny day, does it? Well, apart from the fuming commuters, the two bikers who crashed right in front of me on the roundabout (didn't take any pictures, of course), the beggar in the underpass near the DLR entrance (who knew more about where the buses went than the members of staff) and the guy that stands directly opposite the Metro newspaper stand trying to flog copies of the Sun (but whose accent means that he is in fact asking everyone very clearly to purchase some "Sandpaper" rather than a "Sun Paper")...they, of course, just look at him slightly strangely and pick up the free alternative...did (eventually) make it to work in the end...pfff... >:S

CONGRATULATIONS!

Hrm... ಠ_ಠ

Poorly Mouth & Southern Trains *SUCK* :(

Had a really pants time of it during the last week-Wednesday last, my normal spicy (free range-home roasted) chicken dinner caused me an unbelievable amount of pain, taking me about fourty minutes to consume (normally fully nommed in about 5), which I thought was odd (taking into account the fact that I am perfectly happy *drinking* raw tabasco sauce under normal circumstances), but just shrugged it off, however, over the next few days my tonsils, tongue and lips gradually became more and more painful and swollen...

Sunday, I spent a couple of hours cooking a lovely roast, and for all the amount of it I actually managed to taste, I may as well have just gone up to the bathroom and stuffed a load of toilet paper into my mouth and eaten that... :(

Anyway, here we are a week later and I'm still no better, I can just about manage to sip a tiny bit of a cold cup of tea, or cold water and I can just about cope with an extremely floppy plain white bread sandwich (even the thought of the pain a tiny spot of branston pickle would cause sends me reeling) or some cold noodles...so, today, thinking enough was certainly enough, I went to the doctors and got diagnosed with an oral fungal bacterial infection...nice...and given a prescription, apparently the bugs that cause it live in the mouth of all humans all the time anyway (before you get any ideas) and only occasionally manage to dominate enough to cause a problem, usually when you are run down or suffering from something else...meh...

So, already made extremely late by doctors appointment (even though I was on the phone half an hour before they opened, and Flyingpops was assured yesterday that there were plenty of appointments earlier, the first momement they could see me was 1030hrs), got to the station to see an announcement that all trains in and out of London Bridge and London Victoria (pretty much my only options) were subject to delay, alteration or cancellation (face+palm)...

Sat waiting for ten minutes then got kicked out into the freezing cold when the Station Mistress finished her shift and had to lock the waiting room, sat for a further half an hour with stinging lips and shivering body until a train finally arrived (supposed to be for London Bridge but now bound for London Victoria)...it got cancelled at East Croydon, waited ten minutes and got on another train bound for London Bridge, it got cancelled at Norwood Junction...sat for a minute panicking, then noticed that the Overground trains (although they stop at about 20 stations on the way) go to Canada Water, hopped on that (and waited and waited and waited), then got to Canada Water, hopped on the Jubilee line, got to Canary Wharf, went to all three chemists with my prescription and *none* of them had the medicine I so desperately needed...best offer, the Boots near Waitrose said "it should be in stock by tomorrow", so I left the prescription there...

Just checked train running back home...everything is delayed by at least an hour, the 8 and 12 carriage trains that always end up full and standing before they leave London, mostly now *TWO* carriages...there is going to be a riot...wish me luck getting home...

What a f******g day... >:(

Grand Theft Milk

Time for an update on the whole milk going missing in the office situation...I actually think we have found a solution! As you can see, I have tried a number of approaches to labelling up the unfinished bottles - to list a few - my name, "DO NOT STEAL", the above "Reddit style" frown of disapproval with admonishing query, even "NOT MILK" didn't work...the final solution, now successful for three days in a row (even though he never even goes into the kitchen)? Put the name of the boss of the department on the bottle, not even the lady whose job it is to clean out the fridge dared to touch it... ;)

Network Rail - On time percentages

I guess it's time to have another moan about commuting by railway, not that there is any chance of replacing it with an alternative (for me), frankly there is no way on earth I could get hold of another mode of transport (I'm talking buying/insuring/taxing/maintaining/parking and fuelling) that would get me (even if as erractically) in and out of Canary Wharf (from deepest darkest Surrey) for two grand a year...just to put you in the picture - simply to park around here (not even in the Wharf, but a short hop away) costs between £1300-1900 a year (and may involve paying for the DLR on top)...so I understand the price I pay for my travel is (grrr through gritted teeth) "reasonable" in comparison to the alternatives...

However, what I do find deeply insulting, is the way network rail (year after year) churn out their figures stating the number of trains that have run on time and it bears *absolutely* no relation to any of my commuter experiences. This years proudly announced figure for December trains was that (on average) 81% ran on time (a number that made me laugh out loud, spitting tea all over my keyboard when I read it - considering the number of days that both Earlswood and Oxted stations were completely *closed*), but if we start to burrow down, it's actually very easy to see how they have reached this conclusion - "on time" is defined as "anything under five minutes late" (which, apart from -one day- in the last two months is *every train I take* - that would make their "on time" total for me to less than 0.01% if it were actually accurate - actually catching my connecting services *relies* upon them being delayed too - day after day, night after night), it also, and most insultingly (considering no-one could care any less about them)
takes into account *every single train*, yep, all those trundling stopping services that pootle along early in the morning, all day long and late into the evening - *completely empty*...well, I say completely empty - the laughing college kids on their way home after morning lectures, the old dears on their way for a bit of shopping in Sutton, the chattering tourists - not a great deal of these people are going to care (hugely) if their train is even ten minutes late to their destination (assuming they notice in the first place), but obviously these trains rarely are late, as not many people have to pack onto them nor struggle to get off them again...

The figure which should be reported is the only one anyone actually cares about - What percentage of peak time commuter services arrived on time? We don't want the "there, there - patted on the head" number that's been gently massaged into feeling better about itself - "oh, don't worry too much about the important trains (which are always delayed) that everyone relies upon, let's just make it "all better now" by adding in all the empty ones, there look - that's much better"...!

It's a great example of "Lies, damned lies and statistics"... ಠ_ಠ

Quick Update...

I've been off the grid for a while, so I suppose I should offer up some sort of explanation as to why - my knee had been pretty bad over Christmas (like back-on-crutches bad)...a couple of times (as I occasionally find it really difficult to lock out my leg) in the slippery conditions I've taken little tumbles, the latest one was last week, tired at the end of a long day/long journey I was trying to get down off the steps from the bus (just yards from the house) and it just gave way, meaning a slightly inelegant dismount, a slightly cut hand and a rather bruised ego...however, this was not all, by the time it came to try and get home the next evening it was *really* swollen and I had lost about 15% of my available movement (and I - annoyingly - didn't have a stick or anything), that journey home was rather exciting (as you can imagine) and by the time I had finally completed it I was exhausted and the swelling was worse than ever... :(

Anyway, one (rather poor) night's sleep later I found myself in East Surrey Hospital, sat in the walk in center (who, to be fair, did see me rather quickly) and was then put in a *huge* queue for (gulp) "Emergency Treatment", which (in actuality) consisted of sitting on a chair waiting (for hours) while a succession of more important cases proceeded to overtake me by means of priority (two builders with cut hands, loads of old dears who had fallen over (and come off worse than I had), young kids who were wailing loudly, etc. etc.)...when I was finally seen, it was to announce that it might actually be more urgent than it appeared, it may have been an infection causing the swelling so I was quizzed endlessly (revealing that I had been (without realising) seriously overdosing on painkillers all over Christmas - and then drinking too - whoops) I was slightly over normal temperature and had elevated blood pressure...although in the end I was given some big new pain killers (and some *sternly delivered* instructions for using them) and ordered to spend two days (minimum) *off* my feet completely (to return immediately if anything happened other than the swelling going away)...

So, it's been a difficult few days, hope you'll forgive me being on the quiet side...! ;)

Doh...

...well I *was* going to talk about baby swimming today, but my card reader seems to have stopped working, so I can't flickr any pictures...typical...so instead I'll just gloat that the Jubilee line is broken today (but I wasn't affected - heh) and that I *meant* to bring more tea bags in from home, but forgot, but it's okay because I had more than I expected when I got to my desk...so one bad, two good...can't really complain!

New Spork...

Oh dear, don't even know why I'm confessing this, but each time I go to my bag to fetch the above pictured item (the top one), into my head *without fail* pops the melody to the Alica Keys and Jay-Z song "New York", however slightly lyrically modified (see title of blog post)...

I'm actually getting quite tired of it now, but my brain refuses to stop...it's ruined the song completely... >;P

Not bad...

...only 8 minutes late in the end...Flyingpops came to pick me up and drive me to Redhill (thank you sweetheart!) but by the time she had loaded the boys and all their things into the car the engineers had managed to get the broken down train going again! Oh well, at least Thomas got to see a couple of trains go past (to a great deal of pointing and chuffing noises)... ;)

Train ticket nonsense

I've only got today and tomorrow left at work this week and (annoyingly) my train ticket ran out yesterday, so this morning we left the house a little early in order to make sure I was at the front of the queue (not having anything like this happen again if I can help it), when I finished my little walk from the main road where Flyingpops drops me off, the ticket lady was just setting off to do her rounds with a bin bag to pick up all the coffee cups and discarded drink cans, which takes her a while as the platforms are quite long, so I thought I would try my luck with the ticket machine at the front of the station...now, to put this is context, my usual weekly ticket costs about £50 (with my new super sneaky route) but the cheapest ticket possible to purchase from the machine (I spent a while poking around the various options) was a daily zone 2-6 travel card priced at £22...if that were right it would mean my travel today and tomorrow would set me back £44, or only £6 cheaper than what I normally cough up for *seven* days fare, which made me frown quite hard, so I thought I would be patient and query it at the ticket office...

After a bit of experimentation (once she had finished doing all the sweeping up), it turned out that there was a cheaper option, but one that wasn't available on the public ticket machine (bit naughty that), if I opted for two daily returns to Coulsdon South (£6.50 each) and then bought two anytime Day Travelcards from Coulsdon to London zones 2-6 (£9 each) then it would work out costing £31 in total (or £15.50 per day) - better but still a bit of a hike from my usual daily rail fare (which works out around) £7.14 (when you take the weekend into account)...

So not a total fail on my part, but I honestly think it's a bit of a con - shouldn't there (arguably) be a button on the machine to calculate the best value tickets for the journey (it shouldn't be that difficult to code up), I think it's just slightly immoral to only present you with the most expensive option for each journey, I bet most people just blindly push the button and never even think twice about it...