Grand Theft Light Bulb?

Very odd...not noticed before thanks to the twin factors of increased foliage and it being light when I'm setting off in the mornings, but it appears that all the street lights that line this path here (which is the route I commonly take to get to Earlswood station) appear to have been vandalised...

It doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to me at the moment of course, but come the winter months this path (if they aren't repaired) is going to be absolutely pitch black instead of punctuated by the incredibly useful occasional pool of light to aim towards as you crash through the woods...Now, the lights are fairly numerous, and also extremely tall which basically means actually going about breaking them would have taken a *considerable* amount of effort, making me wonder what the motivation was...thrill seeking is basically out, climbing up all those slippery poles (dodging attacking crows, squirrels and sharp branches) and bashing away could hardly be considered a form of recreation (unless you are incredibly daft), which only leaves two other possibilities (that spring to mind) - One - the light bulbs are sufficiently valuable to merit going to all the effort of stealing them (but then why aren't we seeing more of this sort of thing?) or -Two- (much more sinister) that someone wants it very, very dark down there at night...

Hrm... :S

Update - They aren't terribly valuable apart from the flashy LED ones (£200-odd quid), which these weren't, they were £20 sodium ones...

Grand Theft Milk

Time for an update on the whole milk going missing in the office situation...I actually think we have found a solution! As you can see, I have tried a number of approaches to labelling up the unfinished bottles - to list a few - my name, "DO NOT STEAL", the above "Reddit style" frown of disapproval with admonishing query, even "NOT MILK" didn't work...the final solution, now successful for three days in a row (even though he never even goes into the kitchen)? Put the name of the boss of the department on the bottle, not even the lady whose job it is to clean out the fridge dared to touch it... ;)

Thames Clipper - Fare Dodging

Goodness only knows what's been going on the last couple of days, waiting at Earlswood for the normal train to London Bridge each day it's been delayed (only by about 5-10 minutes) but when it's pulled into the station it's already "full and standing" (like twice the number of people that are usually on it), luckily in each case we've got seats fairly near one another (so not anything like the end of the world, just a bit...well...strange)!

Yesterday the train managed to take about twice as long as usual to get into London. I *think* because it was so full, and the tracks were so slippery (leaves on the line) it just couldn't seem to get traction when it was trying to move away (luckily the tube was pretty empty when I got down there so it made up for it, was only about 5 minutes late as I leave a big buffer just in case of problems like this)...today we arrived at Earlswood to find it was delayed by 10 minutes, and finally crept into East Croydon at just about the time we normally pull into London Bridge...kissing Flyingpops goodbye there I told her I was going to have to leg it and flew towards the Jubilee line (praying for similar luck to Monday), but as I cut through the crowds I began to fear the worst as announcements echoed "Passengers please note, the DLR is currently suffering severe delays, we advise all customers to seek alternative methods of transport" (which basically means the Jubilee line), and lo and behold! When I got down the escalator the queue was backed right up into the shops in the vault...*never* seen it that bad before...so I span on my heels and rapidly reversed course, stamped back up the escalator and made a run for the secret footbridge (empty as usual) over to the London Bridge dock...

Damn...the queue there must have been 250 people (stretching right back up towards King William Street) and I now had 10 minutes to get to my desk...I trudged miserably to the end and peered over my shoulder to see if there might be a boat due soon and (Yes!) one was just pulling in...! The queue moved really rapidly -

- and I was getting seriously near the front, but we could all hear the two crew members counting people on (they can't overload)...I crossed my fingers in my pockets and scrunched up my eyes (pleasepleaseplease!)...and they called a halt to boarding two people behind me...phew!

So this, to my knowledge, is the first time I have been on a fully loaded Thames Clipper...and I have to say I wasn't terribly impressed with how they coped, for example, the ticket office at London Bridge was closed, and no-one was going up the queue taking fares, so when these hundreds of people got on, all of them still had to cough up...and guess how many people were selling tickets on board? One...

So it's no surprise to learn that 10 minutes later when we pulled into Canary Wharf only about 15 people had managed to buy them, then began this absolutely crazy scene where the two members of staff at Canary Wharf were both trying to issue tickets (their machines take *forever* to issue them especially if people are trying to pay by card) and check and punch (yes, they have a punch system like the old days on British Rail) existing tickets and check season ticket holders out...it didn't take long before the impatient crowd just gave up trying to pay and walked out via the entrance ramp, and of course when others saw the staff failing to check (or even really seem to care) many, many more people (I'm guessing about half the number waiting) just left the queue and legged it while the poor woman was struggling to juggle money (endless searches for change in terribly inefficient bum bag)/tickets (literally handfuls of paper tumbling into the water below the dock - now lost to any auditing process)/ticket machine/ticket punch/etc. etc...

Of course I did the right thing and waited and paid my money, but they really need to find a better payment system, it's all very well when 20 people use the boat on a normal morning, but all too often they seem to get caught with their pants down when the other services fail and they become the only option...normally it would just mean a huge number of people standing in long queues, however today, from the looks of things, it cost them a whole lot of money for their inefficiency...

HSBC - Cloned Card

Even before this latest incident, I was thinking to myself "You know what Fink? It's entirely possible that you have actually died without noticing, and are now in purgatory"...(probably it was my id and ego involved in that particular conversation - just before you start thinking me suddenly infirm)...I mean, it's not exactly *hell* (I don't think I've been -*that*- naughty) where knives and acid and demons would set about your bits-and-bobs with joyful abandon...more just a subtle *ceasing* to be (in the blink of an eye) and suddenly living in a fake world where everything completely and smugly conspires against you...a death of a thousand (metaphorical) cuts (or so it seems)...

Now, to put this in context, we must return to last Saturday (if you please, it's not an order or anything...) oh and if you want to feel a hint of some of the other little "cuts", just scroll down the page a bit...I have discussed a *few* of them here already, but this particular bit I left out until now (for reasons that will soon become clear) along with other (both minor and major) causal and reactive events that will have to remain a mystery (but this example will certainly give you an idea of the general gravity of my present environment)...

Anyway, back to Saturday AM - it was time to zip over to get Colin the Camper his MOT re-test, but we needed to get some cash out to pay the unknown amount required for the parts/work required to limp Colin back to life in order to get some (-and I make a clear distinction here when I say QUALITY-) R&R, in order to approach a state nearing "normal human" again...(oh the sweet dream that this could ever seem a realistic possibility)...Flyingpops suggested we put in £100 each (just in case) but when I inserted my card (at first, in the cash point at the hospital, and then at various service stations/garages on the way), each of them confronted me with a stony, and ambiguous "Temporary Error"...Flyingpops was understandably miffed - assuming (fairly) that I had accidentally gone over my limit on my account (wouldn't be the first time), and *honestly*, I wasn't sure - lots of extra expense this month (expensive passport rush job for work etc.) meant that *really*(?), it *might* have been true...but I just couldn't see exactly *how*...

Anyway, I ate humble pie, Flyingpops valiantly paid the costs (which actually weren't as bad as we feared, in the end), and I rang up the bank (once we were somewhere completely stationary for any length of time) and checked it out, and I had *loads* of money left...I was *completely* baffled...Anyway, I assumed it was a technical glitch of some sort, and just forgot about it...I had a bit of cash-cash, no worries...

Next really odd thing, and actually a (false) epiphany - yesterday (I *assumed* delayed because of the postal strike) I get a new bank card through the post, thought it was a bit odd that it still said "Issue number 1" on it again, but checked the old card out and there was what I needed to see - the expiry date was this month! Mystery over (or so I thought)...

I get into town today (rather earlier than normal), pop my card into the cash point on the Caledonian Road, ask for a little of my hard-earned bread and get a very rude "Your Card Issuer has declined this request" in response...wtf? I have spent *nothing* since Saturday (and I know this simply because I haven't been blooming *able* to)...further bafflement...

I ring up telephone banking, and after speaking to two jolly nice, but largely unhelpful Scottish-sounding gentlemen (and being on hold for rather a long time) I am suddenly greeted by an Indian-sounding gentleman who proclaims he is from the "Fraud Department" (Uh oh!)...

"So, hello Mr Angel, I understand you have been on holiday to Malaysia and Thailand most recently"...

(EH?????????) - "Urm, no...?"

"Oh dear, so when were you last found to be travelling abroad?"

"Urm, back at the beginning of the year I had to take a trip to New York for work? But this was *months* ago"...

"Oh dear, so you haven't been on holiday to Malaysia and Thailand most recently?"

"Urm, no, you might find I have spent a bit of time in Redhill and North London though"...

...and on, and on, and on this went...turns out, some w*nker has had a lovely time on holiday at my expense...and I am extremely angry...they told me that nothing more can be done over the phone...

You can imagine what happened when I had rung Flyingpops to tell her what was going on and then called back to ask that they try and make sure I'm not left out of pocket by anything stupid (like extra fees incurred, thanks to my robbers exceeding my agreed spending limits)?...just for example...

...(and you will think I am joking but) when I rang, the call centre lady at HSBC actually tried to sell me f*cking "identity fraud" protection insurance...no offer of help at all...very, very poor...

I am really reaching the end of my tether...customer service? I'm absolutely disgusted...automated system that caught the fraud - +100 bonus points for being clever and pro-active...shame the two sides of the business are so horribly distant... :(

Balfe Street signs - Grand Theft Bike

What is it with Balfe Street and funny signs? Spotted this one this morning on my way in, it reads "Thinking about or attempting to steal a bike from here? THEN GIVE A GREAT BIG SMILE There are three CCTV cameras watching & recording you" (it's on the fire escape style exit from the "Central Station")...

It's a real problem in this area...more than once I have seen scuffy young chavs (sometimes in small groups) cycling around like predators carefully circling and checking out any bike that is left on display, and that is in broad daylight! Torquay slag had his extremely expensive and carefully locked bike robbed from outside "The Driver" during Friday lunch a while ago...I would suggest tying a dog to your bike to guard it (if you have to bring it to Kings Cross), but they are probably more likely to get stolen than the bike!

Any more of these signs though and I'll have to generate a flickr set for them! ;)