28 January, 2008

Earlswood to London Bridge (Worst case scenario)

When the barriers are closed
So we get to Earlswood (where there are about 3 times more commuters in the ticket office than normal (uh oh)) to see that the next train on the board is the 0713 (delayed by about 40 minutes...groan, remember this is barely two weeks after the last "Commuter Hell"...) due to "adverse track conditions" (it was rather foggy and icy), we watch an extremely delayed Victoria train go past (with hundreds of empty seats) and wait for our normal London Bridge train (which is only delayed by 8 minutes by some miracle) but when it pulls in, despite a mad dash down a few carriages, no seats...it's already full and standing...so Flyingpops walks down inbetween the seats (in the hope someone will get off) and I perch by the door (where I can just about sit/lean on the hand rail, like sort of half a seat), we proceed up the line filling up to *absolutely rammed* by Merstham (where I am cursing myself for not getting my book out of my rucksack, no way to reach it now)...somewhere around Coulsdon I make the terrible mistake of reaching above my head with both hands to stretch a bit and hang on to the rail on the ceiling, and the void left where my arms had been instantly and immovably vanishes, filled by other commuters bags and bodies, leaving me completely stuck and unable to put my arms back down again...the train comes to a halt outside East Croydon (and then just sits there for about 25 minutes with no explanation) leaving me desperately uncomfortably, when we finally pull in (after an announcement that there is some "congestion" in the area...really??) a few people get off and then even *more* cram on (but at least I use the brief respite to firmly lodge my hands by my sides, won't be doing that again!)...anyway, we sit at the platform with the doors opening and closing for (I suppose) another ten minutes until an ominous announcement "Would the guard please contact the driver please", followed shortly after by the guard - "My apologies ladies and gentleman, but due to a broken down train in the Norwood Junction area" (why is it *always* Norwood Junction?) "this train will now be diverted to London Victoria via Clapham Junction"...EH??? This is doubly irritating as we deliberately didn't board the empty Victoria train at Earlswood...grrr...



Thousands of moans, groans and "tuts" later virtually everyone (standing) on the train gets off to try and find an alternative, I manage to re-join Flyingpops who is hastily examining her tube map, and a few minutes later we are off again (slowly), finally pulling into London Victoria at about quarter past nine...crushed Circle line and Jubilee line later (cursing the six minute wait at Westminster having *just* missed an almost empty train) I cram onto another packed carriage to complete my nightmare journey to Canary Wharf, manage (somehow) to come out the wrong exit from the tube and find myself on the wrong side of the park near Waitrose, finally slumping down at my desk exactly one hour after I normally arrive for work...

Wonderful...

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