Very bad pizza...
Originally uploaded by finkangel.
..."*Very* Bad Pizza" begins, I am afraid, with three simple words - "cook from frozen" - it doesn't seem that difficult, and frankly, this isn't the first time that I have ignored those very same words to my cost, but fatigue (today) lent me a very special, and most unhelpful hand...it may even have been helpless for me to even attempt to resist fate in this instance...
The endeavour *began* honestly, and happily enough, dear reader, with the simple slicing of garlic, the stripping and chopping of oregano and basil (those that survived the garden cull, at least), cleaving and separating simple rings of crunchy, fresh white onion, and the anointing of all with a drizzle of finest olive oil and a grind or two of freshly cracked black pepper...the oven, meanwhile, was waiting...it's temperature building...it's evil glow... mocking...?
The virtually silent click of the temperature thermostat switch on the oven (detected by my sense of hearing way over the (decibels louder) racket emerging from "LOST" on the TV) summoned me to the kitchen...I swung open the oven door, dialled in half the required cooking time (without even thinking) and slid (like a pizza chef, smiling) this (supposedly) easy pizza base into position on the wire frame shelf....
Fade back to "LOST"...
BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP...
BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP...
(dark environment, constant sound of the echo-locator-like motion detectors) Hicks - "Hey, looks like someone bagged one of Ripley's bag guys here..."
All the good bits of my dinner were on the floor of the oven, blackened trails of pizza cheese were stretched out downwards, burnt black and hanging, like "Alien's" aliens post-mortem molecular acid blood left the deck plating...dripping into infinity... :(
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