16 August, 2007

HSBC - Cloned Card

Even before this latest incident, I was thinking to myself "You know what Fink? It's entirely possible that you have actually died without noticing, and are now in purgatory"...(probably it was my id and ego involved in that particular conversation - just before you start thinking me suddenly infirm)...I mean, it's not exactly *hell* (I don't think I've been -*that*- naughty) where knives and acid and demons would set about your bits-and-bobs with joyful abandon...more just a subtle *ceasing* to be (in the blink of an eye) and suddenly living in a fake world where everything completely and smugly conspires against you...a death of a thousand (metaphorical) cuts (or so it seems)...

Now, to put this in context, we must return to last Saturday (if you please, it's not an order or anything...) oh and if you want to feel a hint of some of the other little "cuts", just scroll down the page a bit...I have discussed a *few* of them here already, but this particular bit I left out until now (for reasons that will soon become clear) along with other (both minor and major) causal and reactive events that will have to remain a mystery (but this example will certainly give you an idea of the general gravity of my present environment)...

Anyway, back to Saturday AM - it was time to zip over to get Colin the Camper his MOT re-test, but we needed to get some cash out to pay the unknown amount required for the parts/work required to limp Colin back to life in order to get some (-and I make a clear distinction here when I say QUALITY-) R&R, in order to approach a state nearing "normal human" again...(oh the sweet dream that this could ever seem a realistic possibility)...Flyingpops suggested we put in £100 each (just in case) but when I inserted my card (at first, in the cash point at the hospital, and then at various service stations/garages on the way), each of them confronted me with a stony, and ambiguous "Temporary Error"...Flyingpops was understandably miffed - assuming (fairly) that I had accidentally gone over my limit on my account (wouldn't be the first time), and *honestly*, I wasn't sure - lots of extra expense this month (expensive passport rush job for work etc.) meant that *really*(?), it *might* have been true...but I just couldn't see exactly *how*...

Anyway, I ate humble pie, Flyingpops valiantly paid the costs (which actually weren't as bad as we feared, in the end), and I rang up the bank (once we were somewhere completely stationary for any length of time) and checked it out, and I had *loads* of money left...I was *completely* baffled...Anyway, I assumed it was a technical glitch of some sort, and just forgot about it...I had a bit of cash-cash, no worries...

Next really odd thing, and actually a (false) epiphany - yesterday (I *assumed* delayed because of the postal strike) I get a new bank card through the post, thought it was a bit odd that it still said "Issue number 1" on it again, but checked the old card out and there was what I needed to see - the expiry date was this month! Mystery over (or so I thought)...

I get into town today (rather earlier than normal), pop my card into the cash point on the Caledonian Road, ask for a little of my hard-earned bread and get a very rude "Your Card Issuer has declined this request" in response...wtf? I have spent *nothing* since Saturday (and I know this simply because I haven't been blooming *able* to)...further bafflement...

I ring up telephone banking, and after speaking to two jolly nice, but largely unhelpful Scottish-sounding gentlemen (and being on hold for rather a long time) I am suddenly greeted by an Indian-sounding gentleman who proclaims he is from the "Fraud Department" (Uh oh!)...

"So, hello Mr Angel, I understand you have been on holiday to Malaysia and Thailand most recently"...

(EH?????????) - "Urm, no...?"

"Oh dear, so when were you last found to be travelling abroad?"

"Urm, back at the beginning of the year I had to take a trip to New York for work? But this was *months* ago"...

"Oh dear, so you haven't been on holiday to Malaysia and Thailand most recently?"

"Urm, no, you might find I have spent a bit of time in Redhill and North London though"...

...and on, and on, and on this went...turns out, some w*nker has had a lovely time on holiday at my expense...and I am extremely angry...they told me that nothing more can be done over the phone...

You can imagine what happened when I had rung Flyingpops to tell her what was going on and then called back to ask that they try and make sure I'm not left out of pocket by anything stupid (like extra fees incurred, thanks to my robbers exceeding my agreed spending limits)?...just for example...

...(and you will think I am joking but) when I rang, the call centre lady at HSBC actually tried to sell me f*cking "identity fraud" protection insurance...no offer of help at all...very, very poor...

I am really reaching the end of my tether...customer service? I'm absolutely disgusted...automated system that caught the fraud - +100 bonus points for being clever and pro-active...shame the two sides of the business are so horribly distant... :(

5 comments:

Flyingpops said...

This is such a shock - Fink is the most careful person I know when entering his pin, doesn't use online banking, uses my cards online and always hides his hands when entering passwords. It's really not fair and it should have happened to me, as I'm quite trusting entering my card details onto internet sites etc.

I apologise publicly, as I really was a bit of a witch, moaning last Sat about the overdraft incident. Sorry darling. I'll help you sort out the mess xxx

nate said...

Fink man, that's awful.
The same type of thing happened to my gran recently, poor old dear.

Are HSBC going to sort it for you, ie get your moolah back where it belongs?

Anonymous said...

oh finky, really sorry to hear this, not really sure if We do beleive it!! hope the bank do realise that it isn't you....... WE'll alibi you 100% if need be..... R&A.
ps really pleased that you're enjoying colin again.... that's 1 stress out of the way... but maybe the nightmare is about to begin...... Chin up. X

¨°º©[ Fink ]©º°¨ said...

Still no news, we are awaiting a "Statement" that I have to sign (basically saying "No, I haven't had a lovely holiday in Thailand, I've been at work in rainy Kings Cross)...*fink grinds his teeth in frustration*

kipperfrog said...

HSBC are driving me mad! After we went to New York in Feb and my card refused to work because I hadn't informed them I was going on holiday, I decided that before going to Corfu I'd go into the local branch and let them know my holiday details so that they could put a note on my account to stop that happening again. I did that, and all seemed well and good until I tried to take out some money in Corfu town.. no joy! I rang up the call centre in India, who made me go through the security check twice, before rudely telling me that I really should have told them that I was going on holiday?! Rubbish! I verified all of my transactions, and yet they still refused to believe that my account hadn't been compromised! It turned out in the end that each time I wanted to take out some money in Corfu, I had to ring up a direct line to this Indian call centre (from my mobile), and hold on the line while using the ATM, after going through all the security checks just standing on the street! Very secure, not. I'm just glad I wasn't on holiday somewhere dodgier!

Now I'm back home I'm gonna have to wait for my new card to come through the post, and I'm gonna have to try and get those phone calls refunded! How annoying!