Overheard at East Croydon station

Two young kids - kid one is Asian (and is on the train), kid two is of Afro-Carribean descent and is standing half in the train and half out...
Kid one - "Go'on, get on da train!"
Kid two - "Nah"
Kid one - "Com'on man, it'll be buff"
Kid two (stepping off the train) - "Nah man, dis train is WELL LOG, innit"
(Kid two now mimes himself straining on the toilet (even squatting down to complete the graphic illustration), flicks Kid one the bird and runs off up the platform laughing while Kid one pulls ugly faces against the closing doors)...

No more than four minutes later, an old dear wanders past where I am sitting, struggling to answer her mobile phone -
"Hello, are you there?" (mumbles, I assume in the affirmative)
"Urm, I'm not sure, where are you?" (brief pause)
"Let me look" (she peers up towards the ramps to the ticket office)
"Yes, I'm on platform...urm...1256" (audible exclaimation of disbelief from the handset)
"No, that's what it says!"
(I reach up, pointing to the "Platform 3" indicator about 3 yards from her current position, trying to distract her attention from the sign she is locked in on which clearly reads "To platforms 1 2 5 6", but as I do she bussles away waving to a distant figure)...