Therapeutic Camping (for one)

So between my psychiatrist and that part of my mind that deals with all things external facing and apparently self-conscious, we settled upon a interesting and slightly unexpected treatment plan that - 

a) gets me out of the house
b) is fun and gives me something to aim at 
c) takes good organisation and management
d) makes me take on at least some of my nastier symptoms like agoraphobia and photophobia 

e) might involve speaking to people but a hiding place is provided
f) doesn't feel like a step too far
g) is inexpensive

So this is the first draft of the list of camping stuff - 

Got - to pack

• Tent (4 man blackout tent - for obvious reasons - it even has a blackout vestibule which is unusual)
• Suitcase Cooker
• Butane can x 2
• Electric Cooler
• Portable rice cooker
• Electric Hookup
• Cooking set (2 x pans, 1 x kettle, 2 x bowls)
• Camp Bed
• Folding Chair
• Outdoor giant bean bag
• Sleeping bag
• Duvet (check forecast)
• Pillows (check forecast)
• Spork x 2
• Plastic Bowl x 2
• A book (currently a UFO book)
• Chargers
• Can opener
• Washing up fluid and cloth/sponge
• Warm hoodie/Jumper
• Novelty Hat
• Bin bags x 2
• Toilet roll x 3

Tech

• Headlamps x 2
• Mini fan
• Power Inverter / big battery pack
• Mobile Telephone
• Chromebook/HP Envy

Comsumables

• Small veg oil
• Small butter
• Fresh water
• Tea (Earl Grey)
• Skimmed milk
• Rice (pre-mixed with cardamon pods, nigella seeds, cinnamon bark and a spot of seasoning)
• Beers
• Beans
• Cans of good quality chicken curry/chilli beef (one of each)
• Jalapenos, sliced in brine 
• Noodles (Indomie Mi Goreng)
• White loaf (sliced) 
• Grated Cheddar cheese
• Bacon, smoked
• Eggs, free range
• Chilli sauce (either Baron's, Frank's or Nando's depending on my mood)
• BBQ/Ketchup
• Snacks (Crisps, Biltong)
• Branston pickle

It was fine, I definitely should have taken a couple of pillows - the giant bean bag was waaaay too big for the inflatable mattress and was just a bit too thin (I could feel the ground through it even when freshly inflated) - so next time I'm taking a proper camp cot and chair...

It was nice to only really have to please myself - for example one morning I had hot chicken curry for my breakfast.  It didn't hurt anybody and it made me happy - I think these little things are what is going to end up making a difference - if I can establish a bank of small "happiness" events where nothing bad happened, I didn't get voted down or ignored, and maybe I can up the chances of not immediately feeling guilty or stupid...