The Canterbury Tales Experience - Review

Back to last Saturday morning now, after our hearty breakfast we headed back into Canterbury proper, had a complete nightmare trying to park the car (eventually settling for a very tight spot right outside the city walls)...it was raining, it was windy, the whole place was *still* packed with foreign students, but this time all decked out in various eye-straining colours of cagoule...we followed the tiny map on the back of our 50% off voucher (you get one when you pay to get into the Cathedral) being battered by the wind -

- and, huddling (when necessary) underneath our umbrella, joined the back of the small queue, which (despite being hearteningly diminutive) didn't move for half an hour)...

Being stood next to this sign, after a while, began to make one wonder if (perhaps) a half-hour queue in an on/off torrential downpour to experience the "smells of Medieval England" might not actually have been the wisest of decisions...Anyway, we persisted (heaven only knows how long one would have to wait on a pleasant day in high tourist season), and were finally granted admittance to the extremely cramped entrance room -

- where some colourful characters were waiting to welcome you, we coughed up our entrance fee, handed our commentary batons and were warned that the first room was going to be extremely dark, then bumbled collectively (with a group of about fifteen people) into the darkness ahead -

- and they certainly weren't kidding, it was pitch black apart from the (pretend) embers of a fire (until the "sun" rose through the "window") and the door sprang open inviting us into the next area -

- which, I was slightly saddened to discover, had a strong aroma of urine (this, disappointingly, being the only evidence of the aforementioned "Medieval smells" (that I noticed anyway), and I can manage to recreate that experience (in modern times) by getting in the lift up to the library in Redhill town centre, thank-you-very-much)-

- they explained their clever (and highly realistic) smell away by introducing ladies emptying their bed pans from above with a loud splashing noise...nice...anyway, I don't wish to ruin the experience or the story (as on the whole it was rather enjoyable) so just a couple more pictures (very hard to shoot in there as firing the flash was frowned upon and it was extremely dark), the stories are animated by a combination of lighting changes, very simple animatronics -



- and the odd automatic door, before (all too quickly) we found ourselves walking out into the traditional brightly lit exit gift shop -

- where 30 different versions of the book were on sale, oh and a huge amount of touristy tat (just for good measure)...I suppose the whole thing took us about half an hour in all (so we actually queued for about the same amount of time as we were in there), the language they used was modern English but with a medieval twist (they do have a special version for young kids, just so they don't get too confused or upset by all the sexual references - there are rather a lot) and actually, it's well worth the visit (but do try and get hold of a voucher, as it seems quite expensive for the amount of time you are in there otherwise)...the good thing is that off the back of this experience I am now tempted to attempt the book (Flyingpops had been forced to study it at school, so I felt a bit left out in that regard), if you want a summing up - consider it an excellent 'introduction' to the text, as when I picked up the book I realised it was going to be another Robinson Crusoe first edition-type read - i.e. enjoyable, but rather challenging...

Undertrees Farm B&B, Kent - Review

So 1730hrs came, we (temporarily) left the pub in Stodmarsh town, and wound our way up the pothole-filled country lane, through the unmistakably flat Kent landscape (great for UFO spotting apparently, the sky seems so *huge* compared to hilly Surrey)-

-to the B&B, where another couple were busy unloading suitcases from their car (giving us confidence that the tomtom had led us to precisely the right place, even though we had noted that it was indeed a house, certainly under some trees and definitely in the middle of farm land, which did match the name we had scribbled on our bit of paper)... ;)

Struggling up to the front door dragging our weekend bags, a little surprise occurred, revealing exactly the sort of place we had booked ourselves in to...the front door had been left unlocked (and, actually, remained so for the duration of our visit) and this note was laying on the doormat, inviting us to come in and make ourselves comfortable, which we did...unfortunately it was more like half an hour we were left waiting, rather than the documented "5 minutes", but when our host arrived (a lovely lady called Jane, whom we instantly forgave) she showed us up to our rooms (we got the one at the front of the house) of the two to choose from (the choice was ours, so I dashed into the slightly larger, brighter one and dumped the bags down, feeling all smug with myself)...

...which actually just looked like someones guest room, not a traditional "room in a B&B" at all (well, apart from the kettle in the corner), complete with (absolutely tiny) en-suite (I could barely turn around in the shower, but then I am quite big, I guess) -

- the other thing we noted was that not one of the windows in the whole house had any curtains, just large wooden shutters, and the windows were single glazed, which meant that it did actually get quite cold when the wind started rattling them (must be a nightmare of a place to keep warm), luckily, on the end of the bed was an old fashioned feather eiderdown (we were obviously not the first people in this room to suffer a little with the chill), and snuggled under that the bed got very cosy, very quickly...which was fine...

Breakfast in the morning was an excellent affair, you can choose when you want it (within reason) and opt for either a full English or a continental, it starts with (what certainly tasted like) freshly squeezed orange juice and a selection of warm bread/croissants/hot cross buns with butter and marmalade, cereal, tea or coffee, and then a very fine example of the classic British invention (really good sausage, free range eggs, mushrooms, tomato, bacon etc.)...dunno why, but at home all I can usually face for breakfast is a small yogurt - something just happens to me when I'm away - I somehow seem to be able to eat like a hungry bulldog without ever really feeling like I've had enough, this meant that Archie (the resident Golden Retriever), who begged *extremely* hard for a morsel, even at one point doing the full one-paw-in-the-air-with-head-cocked-to-the-side manoeuvre (which *very* nearly worked), had to resort to plan B - i.e. stealing leftovers from the dishwasher, which he got away with three times during our meal (to noisy scolds, chasing him from the kitchen by his mum)...quite charming... ;)

So, to sum up, it's not miles away from Canterbury (about ten or fifteen minutes in the car, depending on the traffic), near to an absolutely fantastic pub with great food (well within walking distance on a pleasant summer evening - just wish we had been there on a pleasant summer evening), it's a really quiet place (just fields as far as the eye can see) and it's not being run like a business...imagine staying in a functioning family home as the guest of a friend of a friend and you won't be far off the mark, you won't see any signs saying "Private", and you'll feel inclined to kindly thank your host after you have watched her slaving away at the stove to cook your breakfast, which you eat at the family kitchen table (discussing with the other guests and your host what your coming day will consist of)...perhaps not everyones cup of tea, but for us a very enjoyable, and probably almost unique way to get to see this interesting part of the country...and to think, we were considering the travelodge! ;)

A visit to Canterbury Cathedral

So next in our day was the enormous queue of traffic to get into Canterbury town center (multiple roundabouts following the line of the ancient city fortifications) we parked in one of the car parks just inside the city wall, checked the handy city map nearby and then walked, a little disappointed, through the historic city streets (which closely resembled Crawley - the town planners have a *lot* to answer for) -

- packed with huddling crowds of foreign students, clutching activity sheets, stopping for lunch in one of the few remaining picturesque parts of the town, the old butter market square (where we both had passable burgers - Flyingpops one was a bit too spicy and mine was overcooked - in the nearby pub)-

- and then into the Cathedral itself under the amazing entranceway ("donating" another £14 for the pleasure - this was turning into a rather expensive day!) -

- but it was worth our contribution for the spectacle, the place is absolutely incredible, founded in 602 AD by St. Augustine on his mission to convert the naughty Anglo-Saxons to Christianity, all it has done since then is expand in it's magnificence -






- it is a colossal building, through the doorway from the cavernous nave -

- you step into the Choir stalls, which alone could easily house many whole "normal" churches (with room to spare) -

- and then on to Trinity Chapel, scene of the martyrdom of Thomas Becket (in the north-east transept) following the famous outburst from King Henry II "Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?", tragically misinterpreted by three over-eager knights, the Corona Tower was built at the eastern end to contain the top of St. Thomas's head (which was apparently sliced off during his murder), interestingly though, it was his death that was responsible for the massive income from pilgrims (of whose journeys are described in Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales") which paid for the incredible Cathedral we see today...


Others are buried here, including the tomb of Edward, the Black Prince (of Wales), which sits nearby -

- although there is no evidence that he was ever called that during his lifetime, it is suspected that he earned the name from grumpy French historians stinging after the ruinous and numerous military punishments he rained down upon them during his virtually constant campaigns on the other side of the pond...we finished our visit with a little trip down to the Norman crypt (to examine the huge collection of silverware down there, complete with a snoozing guard), sorry, no pics, photography is forbidden down there, and then out through the gift shop (where Flyingpops bought a sliver charm model of the building to mark the occasion of our Anniversary and visit)...and then we had a little while to burn, so we decided we would head to the village where we were staying to ponder the menu in the pub for our evening meal (before checking in time at the B&B)...

1st Wedding Anniversary

Wow...It's been a year already - our first wedding anniversary is this weekend! I've still got the day so clear in my mind, just as if it were yesterday, I guess things quite so intense and personal get extra weight when the brain is burning them into long time storage...which is nice... ;)

Anyway, by way of celebration we have got Friday and Monday off as holiday and are paying for each other to get away to Canterbury (actually, more specifically a tiny bed and breakfast in a cottage near a nature reserve to the east of Canterbury)...the visits we have planned are to the "Canterbury Tales Experience" (a sort of medieval theme park), the cathedral (and the rest of the town centre), then a little trip to Whitstable, where apparenty they are currently enjoying the start of the local oyster season (not that Flyingpops will be able to join in as shellfish are off the menu for pregnant persons)...and then back home, perhaps, via Dover to check out Dover castle and the secret WW2 tunnels underneath...should be a good weekend (even better if the forecast bad weather doesn't affect us too badly, but a lot of the stuff we had planned was indoors/underground anyway)!

Anyone been to this part of the country? Any suggestions for cool things to do over a long weekend?