Occidental Grand Flamenco Xcaret, review

So what was it like, this hotel? Well, that's fairly simple, it was (of course) staggeringly beautiful - but given the surroundings, one would have to work pretty hard to forge a "bad" hotel, however, the only neighbour that came anyway near close (from the multiple trips we made up and down the strip on pick-ups, drop-offs and waits for transfers) was the "Barcello" (not really surprising) somewhere back up the road towards Cancun (and even that wasn't quite as impressive), from the ludicrously titled "lobby" (bigger than an aircraft hanger) -


- where you could find one of the 10 bars, enjoy live music and the Mayan show in the early evening -

- to the *many* swimming pools (5 in total), this one was our view from the balcony (in our second room) -

- more through the jungle, when the blue pyramid of the pool bar greets you over the foliage -



- and in these rooms (picture this), you could leap from the balcony straight into the water(!), the beach -

- complete with that gorgeous azure Caribbean sea and whitest of white, powder-soft coral sand (if you dug down a bit you could uncover quite substantial pieces still intact) -

- hammocks strung around in the shade (awaiting tired guests) -


- the shopping "village" that followed the river right through the centre of the site -

- with a multitude of (what appeared to be) independent shops and stalls -



- and artists working and selling their wares -

- everywhere teeming with wildlife, from huge shoals of brightly coloured fish in the lagoon -

- past the kind that reply if you say "Ola" to them -

- the huge iguanas that are as prolific as cats in a European resort (if one were visiting Spain or Corfu) -


- and other miscellaneous fauna -



- including these rather cheeky birds who lurk at any restaurant they can find hoping to avail themselves of the small (but inevitable) gap between guest standing up and waiter reaching the table with his tray -

- they redeem themselves fully, though, by cutely wiping their beaks (on both sides) after they have finished eating or drinking whatever they have stolen... ;)

There are ample facilities (and plenty to do if you *did* just want to stay in the hotel) -

- and even a "Wally Trolley" to ferry you around the place if you are feeling lazy (as the site is *rather* large) -

If there were to be any negatives at all they would have to be the fact that there was a bit of a lack of co-operation/communication between the various hotel departments (reception, when we decided to move rooms took almost 48 hours to get housekeeping to turn the new room over for us), and at times the food fell into the questionable domain (not a great deal of choice for vegetarians for example), but the restaurants on site probably deserve a posting of their own...so more to follow... ;)

Click here for my first impressions of Mexico upon landing...

Update - Click here to see our visit to a 100 ft deep cenote!

Update Update - Click here to take a walk with us around the Mayan Ruins at Chichen Itza (a wonder of the modern world)...!

Update Update Update - Join us as we saw the incredible sights of Tulum!

Update Update Update Update - Don your eye-patch and grab your parrot for the Captain Hook Cruise in Cancun bay!

Even more updates - too many to list, so click here to see the rest of the honeymoon as a photo essay...

Mexico - First Impressions

So dragging our rifled luggage, we wade our way through a veritable sea of people attempting to court our attention (others around us, not so wiley, falling prey) until finally we spot someone in a blue shirt (airport staff) who direct us to the salida (exit), where we find about 20 people in our travel agents colours. Normally one would expect to find only a small handful, but in this case each couple/family who emerge were swiftly allocated their own guide (to stop too many people being collared by private taxi firms or car hire companies in their early bafflement) -

- and, trying out my first few words in Spanish with our guide (quickly being corrected as I was incorrectly using the masculine when speaking to a woman ("Poco" instead of "Pocalina")...whoops!) we were ushered (safely) to our coach -

- so first impressions of Mexico? Very hot, very humid (like spending all day in a butterfly house), a little intimidating, a little confusing...The coach slowly filled up as *most* people managed to evade the vultures and then we pulled away, almost immediately joining what I can only describe as a "freeway", the strong flavour of Spain that was most obvious at the airport here revealed itself to have an overriding aftertaste of the USA - we passed McDonalds, Seven-Eleven, Dominos, the vehicles on the road badged with Dodge, Ford, recycled American school buses and classic 18-Wheelers...the roads themselves, well, let's just say the Mexicans could have taught the Romans a thing or two...mile after mile and absolutely ruler-straight, you come to an intersection, peer to the right or left, and at 90 degree angles off the joining streets and avenues disappear to the horizon...the only real difference is that every couple of kilometres everything grinds to a halt when meeting a (clearly signposted) "interrupción de la velocidad" (or "speed bump" as they turned out to be) - people here, it is explained, do not like to obey the speed limit, so it is forced upon them...

We are the second drop off, on the bus for about an hour I suppose, passing the local town (Playa del Carmen) just before we pull off into a maze of winding roads (a place of stark contrasts then) that finally reveals reception to our hotel -

- which is just *staggeringly* huge -


- we checked in, got strapped into our "all inclusive" wrist bands and were offered a choice of rooms (nice) but not having any bearings we decided to just check out the one they had chosen for us, were then shown on a map where to go (only about a five minute walk from reception, apparently), which in execution proved to be a winding jungle trail(!) -

- through which we emerged next to an incredible pool complex -

- next to which was our block, so we dumped our stuff, freshened up a little and then discovered one of the slightly annoying things about being here -

- the minute you step out of the air-conditioned room your camera invariably fogs up...and then remains that way for about the next 40 minutes (no matter what you do with your lens cloth), what a pain...anyway, we popped out for a spot of dinner in "Le Buffet" (the main restaurant) -

- which I will cover in more detail in a later post but had a baffling array of offerings, really incredible, and then participated in a bit of the show in the main theatre -

- (rudely interrupted when a group of Americans started screaming and scattering when they discovered a scorpion trying to join them in the audience) -

- the show itself mostly involved a group of young ladies (one Brit, one Mexican and two Americans) - competing to become "Queen of the hotel" by running through the audience collecting items of mens clothing from the audience (against the clock) -

- causing absolute chaos when the show came to an end (everyone trying to find their flip-flops and t-shirts on the stage)...a bit cheesy but it was amusing enough (certainly seen a lot worse!)...anyway, we enjoyed a few drinks at the bar and then returned to our room to find a nice welcome present from the hotel on our table -

- and then attempted to get to sleep (which should have been easy enough with the extra long day we had enjoyed) only to be woken up at 4am by a load of Americans on their last night yelling at the top of their voices and running up and down the stairs outside our room...rather annoying...so we vowed to move rooms, even if only to get away from the staircase! Sleep came again (finally) and we awoke the next morning to blazing sunshine, welcome meeting to come... ;)

The honeymoon begins!

So, finally, we are -Home-...! The odd sleep-deprived nuzzle to a familiar cushion (or two) aside, I can now begin to weave for you, the start of this tale of the Caribbean...

- so, all packed up - two weeks worth of (even scanty) clothes still managed to approach the weight limit, and required spreading between three bags (plus two of hand-luggage), my folks arrived to whisk us to the north terminal at Gatwick where we checked everything we could in to travel in the hold, briefly disturbed by a slightly mad looking woman who stood behind us giggling and using our luggage trolley to maintain an (almost) upright position while we were answering our security questions, then painlessly through the security checks (well, apart from me walking through the scanner too quickly and having to be frisked by hand), past the couple in front of us (who seemed to think that baby bottles full of fluid didn't have to go through the scanners in a separate clear poly-bag like everything else) - and then to get our money changed up into a frankly Del-Boy shaming wad of 1000 Peso notes (which probably would have split my wallet had I tried to cram it all in)...Flyingpops did a little shopping (hats and things), I did a little shopping (more books) and then we made our way to the gate (which was very nearby despite the warning to leave 10 minutes to get there), waited for those (now spare) minutes to tick by, and then boarded the little bus that was to ferry us to the plane -

- much less crowded than the Jubilee Line -

- went to find our seats (payed for pre-allocated extra legroom ones, as I am tall enough to genuinely need it and we checked, it's actually significantly more legroom there than even in the premiere class up front, so a good tip if you want to save a bit of cash and also need somewhere to keep your feet during the long flight)... ;)

As we were unpacking our books (etc.) for the journey and adjusting our seat belts, I was a little aggrieved to spot the slightly crazy looking woman from check-in swanning past us, still giggling inanely, collapsing half onto her innocent neighbour as she fell into her seat a few rows behind us (making me roll my eyes just very slightly)...anyway, the crew got on with their checks - closing all the luggage rack doors, performing final make-up adjustments) as Flyingpops and I failed to work our how the screen for the entertainment system was supposed to pop up (ours being under the seat as there were no seats in front of us for them to be mounted into, only a bulkhead) when the in flight safety demonstration was announced - we politely turned at least 35% our attention over to watch the so-familiar-as-to-be-cliched "this is how you close, tighten and release", "in the unlikely event...exits are to be found here, here and here", etc. when suddenly, I felt someone brush past me...the crazy woman, bent absolutely double (as if she thought she were somehow invisible by doing so), running up the narrow walkway towards the toilet! Cabin crew members exchanged extremely flustered ("urm, this isn't supposed to happen!") glances, one then running to intercept calling "Madam, everyone must watch this presentation! Please Madam!", but before she could be stopped, the toilet door was slammed shut and locked - Astonished cabin crew member on one side (still clutching her uselessly dangling demonstration seat belt) and the crazy woman on the other...

They didn't, as I thought they might, force the door open (there must be a way in case of an actual emergency), but instead, a slightly "Julian Clary" voice came over the tannoy system "Well, I'm very sorry ladies and gentlemen, but it looks like one of our passengers has decided to ignore the 30 second safety demonstration and barricade herself in the toilet, and regulations state that everyone on board must watch the display. I apologise for the delay she is causing and I hope we don't miss our departure slot as a result"...a pause..."while she finishes whatever she is doing in there"...

When she came out (rubbing her nose) she got an ironic slow round of applause from a number of passengers, but she seemed not to mind at all, falling back into her seat to a number of hard stares (including mine) and at least one desperate "Don't look at me, we aren't together!" look from the chap lucky enough to be sat next to her...

Anyway, that excitement over, the next 11 hours (across six time zones) passed quite quickly and uneventfully (GTA on the PSP until the battery ran out, then Pokemon Diamond on the NDS until I got bored of it)...the landing into Cancun airport was a *hell* of a bumpy one, but apparently thanks to the thermals caused by the heat and humidity it's never trivial...I was feeling thoroughly sick by the time we almost crashed onto the tarmac - to say I was relieved to disembark would be an understatement -

- and Oh-Boy was it hot, I rolled up my jogging bottoms as best I could to get a little ventilation-

- took another little bus to the main airport building -

- where we spent five minutes with about 40 other people sat on the floor (sharing pens) correcting the customs forms we had filled out incorrectly on the plane, collected our bags (their little luggage carousel was woefully small, meaning bags kept on falling off or getting stuck), but eventually we got to the final x-ray check where, before you are allowed to enter Mexico, you press a "customs lottery button", it comes up either green (go right in), or red (go and have your bag searched), I went through fine and started to put the passports and things away, only to spot a very flustered Flyingpops being waved on by a man with a large automatic weapon after having had to surrender to (an albeit cursory) bag search...and then there we were, hot, phased, slightly flustered and armed with warnings about who we should talk to from this point onward ("Only people in blue shirts, anyone else could be a scammer or opportunist")...

"Oh and welcome to Mexico Senior"...

More later... ;)