Quick Update...

I've been off the grid for a while, so I suppose I should offer up some sort of explanation as to why - my knee had been pretty bad over Christmas (like back-on-crutches bad)...a couple of times (as I occasionally find it really difficult to lock out my leg) in the slippery conditions I've taken little tumbles, the latest one was last week, tired at the end of a long day/long journey I was trying to get down off the steps from the bus (just yards from the house) and it just gave way, meaning a slightly inelegant dismount, a slightly cut hand and a rather bruised ego...however, this was not all, by the time it came to try and get home the next evening it was *really* swollen and I had lost about 15% of my available movement (and I - annoyingly - didn't have a stick or anything), that journey home was rather exciting (as you can imagine) and by the time I had finally completed it I was exhausted and the swelling was worse than ever... :(

Anyway, one (rather poor) night's sleep later I found myself in East Surrey Hospital, sat in the walk in center (who, to be fair, did see me rather quickly) and was then put in a *huge* queue for (gulp) "Emergency Treatment", which (in actuality) consisted of sitting on a chair waiting (for hours) while a succession of more important cases proceeded to overtake me by means of priority (two builders with cut hands, loads of old dears who had fallen over (and come off worse than I had), young kids who were wailing loudly, etc. etc.)...when I was finally seen, it was to announce that it might actually be more urgent than it appeared, it may have been an infection causing the swelling so I was quizzed endlessly (revealing that I had been (without realising) seriously overdosing on painkillers all over Christmas - and then drinking too - whoops) I was slightly over normal temperature and had elevated blood pressure...although in the end I was given some big new pain killers (and some *sternly delivered* instructions for using them) and ordered to spend two days (minimum) *off* my feet completely (to return immediately if anything happened other than the swelling going away)...

So, it's been a difficult few days, hope you'll forgive me being on the quiet side...! ;)

Dave's Gourmet Insanity Sauce

Ouch... :(

...and I love hot food...I licked a generous dose (about a teaspoon full) off my hand as a sampler at the end of lunchtime (thanks to Alan from the Maths department) and WHOAH...my nose (which was congested) is now completely clear and my throat feels like I had sandpaper for my dinner (I also sweated about a pint and got told by a colleage "you look like you have had a stroke")...checked it out on the internets and this sauce is 180,000 on the scoville scale (the common benchmark here, for reference, is Tabasco sauce - which most people think is spicy) which is about 2500) and was the only sauce ever banned from the American "National Fiery Foods Show" for being too hot...So no blooming wonder my head 'asploded! That was like chewing up and swallowing a couple of raw Scotch Bonnets... :0

*pant*

Antenatal Class - The four forms of pain relief

Okay, so here we are in the hospital (not really, this is a follow up to this post here - sorry, just too much been going on to keep these posts concurrent)...the midwives have (hopefully) allocated a room, but we could still be 15+ hours from the baby actually being delivered...during this period Mum is going to be taking long walks around the golf course (trying not to be hit by golf balls), taking more baths, listening to calming music (which Flyingpops is choosing now - Clannad especially seems to be going down well) and most importantly - taking some drugs (contractions are painful)...

There are 4 (main) types of pain relief used in delivery -

1 - A TENS unit (TENS = Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation)
2 - Entonox (Nitrous Oxide and O2 - otherwise known as laughing gas, used to make drag racing cars go really, really fast - roughly equivalent to 15mg of Morphine)
3 - Pethidine injection (opioid painkiller, according to the midwife they would use Heroin, but the war in Afghanistan has made it too expensive, so Pethidine it is)...
4 - Epidural anesthesia (is capable of killing all sensation below the tummy - may offer a pain-free birth)

There are, of course, the odd occasions where a full general anaesthetic has to be used, but it isn't considered "usual"...

So let's look at each in turn (in a bit more detail)...

TENS Machines
Commonly used for pain relief for muscularskeletal injuries, these machines work by disrupting the normal operation of the nerves...apparently there isn't any sort of research to support the fact that it actually can reduce pain during child birth (although we are getting used to hearing this disclaimer, simply because it's understandably difficult to get large groups of pregnant women to volunteer for medical studies that might risk the health of their unborn children), but it's non-invasive and gives Mum some buttons to fiddle with (the distractive powers of which should not be underestimated)...

Entonox
Quite a lot of women need go no further than "gas and air", the effects come and go extremely quickly, so mum needs to be inhaling deeply (and that word is operative as, according to our NHS Physio, most women only do so generally in a rather shallow fashion) as soon as each contraction starts and only stop again when the contraction is complete...again, gas and air is completely non-invasive and is out of the system as quickly as it went in...

Pethidine
Delivered by intravenous injection, as well as it's considerable pain killing properties (not quite as good as Morphine, but almost) it also (very rapidly) induces a cocaine-like stimulant rush and an opioid euphoric state (similar to Heroin) which lasts for about 2-2.5 hours - (horrifyingly) some women get so high they actually start to sing...(note to self to remember to pack the ear-plugs)...oh and it must be mentioned here that for a small percentage of women, Pethidine doesn't work at all...

Epidural
A huge needle (I have held one and they are quite scary) is inserted into the spine, through which a little catheter is fed, this is then used to pour anaesthetic drugs directly into the epidural space - although this can only happen if the midwife can get hold of an anaesthetist (in our NHS class they only said they would *try* and arrange it, if Mum wanted it, there is no guarantee that an anaesthetist will become available)...this procedure *should* numb everything from the bump down, meaning the birth would be pain free (unfortunately we saw a TV show on the weekend where a proud new Mum announced that despite the epidural she was still in a lot of pain, but I'm guessing this is the exception rather than the rule), major downsides are (1) it's impossible to tell when contractions are happening, so Mum can't naturally sense when to push (increased risk of doctor having to manipulate the baby/yank it out with a sink plunger), and (2) Mum isn't going to be moving around at *all*, with all sensation gone from the legs it would be inadvisable... ;)

Sorry Guys...

...for not posting - serious knee-cartilage related soft-tissue flare-up caught me by surprise over the weekend, exacerbated by whacking my knee on the corner of my metal pedistal under my desk three times in a row (training our new chap, so sat in quite the wrong position for speedy desk tucking - ouch!), dashing the commute home to start the break as soon as possible, followed shortly by an hour and a half sat in an incredibly uncomfortable position in the car on the way down to our weekend break...anyway, whatever it was that caused it I've ended up being practically unable to walk (again)...I honestly think we would have been forced to cancel the break completely if it wasn't for the fact that we *knew* the house was still going to be in total chaos (bathroom no-where near done), and that between Flyingpops and I, the whole process of even packing the car up to come home in a hurry would have been a complete farce...as it was, it was pretty hilarious (although *only* in retrospect - and this is no joke, we were hefting things to one another out of the second door (the one without stairs) at the head of the caravan to save bending and stretching, Flyingpops holding in the Bump, gasping and me clutching at my knee making the odd indecent outburst)...heaven only knows how we got it all done...

Can't fault where we went though, despite the medical "issues" stopping us exploring terribly far afield, it certainly looks like an amazing part of the country - pics and stories to come, once I can lean toward the keyboard without grinding my teeth in pain...and thanks to Emily! Don't know what we would have done without the blissful rest afforded to us...trying to cope with all this *and* the builders taking over the house? I can't even start to contemplate it...! Once we got back to civilisation, we just decided to give up on home completely instead heading straight to Oxted (where we had kipped all last week), although this time, instead of being resident for house sitting and watering duties, thanks to my folks actually being home, it's a bit more like us being looked after for a while...so thanks (very much) Mum and Dad too... :)

Antenatal Day Unit, East Surrey Hospital

We had a hell of a day yesterday...got up as normal, I got washed/shaved/dressed and bumbled downstairs, put on BBC Breakfast (to blip in the headlines and absorb weather and travel reports in the background), wandered into the kitchen to put some milk into the microwave ready for Flyingpops breakfast, ran the tap for some cold water for me to pop my effervescent vitamin tablet into - and then heard a pitiful cry from the stairs, I called from where I was standing asking if everything was okay and got only a pained "Fink!" in response, by the time I had reached the living room door she was in the hall, bent double and holding her bump with an expression of pain wracking her face...

We had a quick discussion about how she felt, which concluded with her deciding to try eating her breakfast and see if the pain subsided, and actually, as soon as she sat down, the pain in her middle lessened considerably, the only problem was, as soon as she finished eating and stood up to go and brush her teeth, it came right back again...

I told her we should go straight over to the hospital to get it checked out, but she wanted to call and speak to her mum (some misguided idea that the hospital staff would tell her off for being silly), but Nanjan confirmed my decision, so we picked up all our commuting stuff and headed over to the Antenatal day unit at East Surrey Hospital (which is only minutes away, thankfully)...as soon as we walked in she was popped up onto a hospital bed and surrounded by Midwives who didn't hesitate but to run a series of tests, starting with urine (normal - no infections) and measurements (using an Ikea tape measure - the Midwife actually confessed "I was in the store and spotted them and thought, those would be good for work"!) which were all okay, and then they plugged in their expensive foetal doppler and found the heartbeat right away (phew!), they asked a battery of questions which culminated in a doctor being paged...

When the doctor appeared (about half an hour later - during which time I tried in vain to stop Flyingpops reading her work emails on her blackberry and worrying about her meeting in the afternoon she didn't want to miss), she poked and prodded, asked some more questions, then ordered a range of blood tests to be carried out, telling us that everything seemed normal with the baby, but just because Flyingpops was pregnant, didn't mean that other things couldn't go wrong, more specifically the place and nature of the pain did kind of match the symptoms of appendicitis...

I took this opportunity to run outside (while the nurses tried to find a vein) and rang Flyingpops mum, so she wouldn't worry and called both of our bosses to update them as to the situation...waiting for the result of the blood tests took just over an hour, the midwives told us to go for a walk (so we went and bought some snacks from the counter by the east entrance) and by the time we got back (Flyingpops being unable to manage anything other than a slow stagger) we only had to wait about ten minutes and the doctor reappeared, said all the blood tests were clear and the pain was likely to be just temporary, she told Flyingpops to take some weak pain killers, get some rest and come back if it persisted, or in fact for anything else (they were wonderfully kind and attentive, nothing was too much trouble)...

As we went to leave (I fully intended to get into work as soon as I could) we were only a few steps out of the front door when the heavens opened - and of course there was no chance of Flyingpops speeding up...we got absolutely *soaked*...Anyway, she rested up at home for the rest of the day, I made it into work for lunchtime and this morning she's feeling absolutely fine...so totally the right thing to do - go and get it checked out - and now we know exactly where to go for this sort of help and advice...thank you East Surrey Hospital...!

Ouch... :(

Been having a bit of a bad time of things the last couple of weeks, ever since the wedding actually...lots of aches and pains, not just the normal seasonal ones (as the nights draw in and temperatures plummet), just some gentle reminders that I need to take things really easy with my poor old knees - yesterday was particularly bad, I made it into town okay (limping a little), but by lunchtime I really didn't want to get up from my chair...at home time I was absolutely dreading what was to come but somehow (grim determination alone I think), with much clinging onto escalators and swearing, I managed to get back to Redhill where I surrendered and caught a taxi home...(I'd long ago missed the bus by the time I got down all those stairs at the station anyway)...

This morning things seem to be a lot better, I dosed up on the strong pain killers the doctor gave me the last time this happened when I got home last night and I've topped them up with some Ibuprofen tablets, my magic binding grip is in my rucksack (just in case) and I have one of my crutches with me to keep the weight off the leg that is currently playing up...oh and I staggered the commute to try and avoid the crowds, someone even kindly gave me the priority seat on the tube...! Got me into the office at about half seven and going to try and skip off a bit early this afternoon to avoid the 1730 crush...

Hate being like this...just have to remind myself that there are people a lot worse off than I am...

"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage".

...well, crap...

Got the results of the MRI today, bit of bad news (but not too bad) looks like I have worn out some of the cartilage under the knee cap and on the right hand side below the calf on my right knee, this explains the bi-yearly problems with mobility...

Anyway, a consultant rheumatologist now must be consulted and then we shall see if nasty holes must be sliced into me to fix the issue...bah...

MRI Scan at Docklands Healthcare

So had to face the music today and go and visit "Docklands Healthcare" (it's very handily only five minutes from where I work, you gotta love Canary Wharf!) to have my very naughty knee scanned in their lovely new "Siemens 1.5 Tesla", managed to forget that there is an east entrance from the Jubilee line, so took a very pleasant (and rather suprising) walk through Jubliee Park -

- where I was slightly delayed, as it seems all sorts of detached frog eye installations have been arranged in various amusing places (did a double take when I spotted the first pair peering out from inside a bush) -

- most of them also appear to be illuminated, so I imagine the very best effect is to be seen during the hours of darkness (when it would seem that giant slimy creatures were lurking in the shadows all around the place)...very amusing stuff! Will have to go back one evening with a tripod... ;)

Anyway, a very short walk later I found myself at the entrance to Docklands Healthcare, had to fill out a couple of forms (nothing too stressful) you just have to confirm in no uncertain terms that no-where on (or in) your body is anything remotely foreign and metallic (as the huge magnet would have absolutely no difficulty in ripping any such object straight out of your body, so remove any piercings before going, eh?)...

The MRI Scanner itself resembles an old IBM mainframe with a *HUGE* tube of Polo mints stuck on the side, you place yourself on a remotely operated table (after stripping down to a surgical gown in a little changing room), and the appropriate area of your body is then wedged in place (to stop it moving) by plenty of chunks of tempurfoam...some headphones are placed on your head (big, old fashioned cans, but fed sound through thick hollow plastic tubes (no metal remember), so everything sounds rather muted and distant)...you are then asked if you are comfortable, offered your choice from a list of music (they had all sorts from Classical, through NOW Albums all the way to a selection of classic Arabic hits)...I chose a bit of classic Coldplay...sat back as the slightly underwater sounding warbling began and was then told by the (nice antipodean or possibly South African) radiologist to "Stay as still you can, relax or we will have to repeat each scan"...and then the racket began, I tensed up *immediately*, just couldn't help it - it sounds like someone is attacking the tube with a hammer (very quickly) - in the end I was stuck in that increasingly uncomfortable position for over an hour - "Ok, there was a bit of movement there, did you feel it?", (nodding, Yes, I'm sorry), "Okay, we'll have to go again, just another 4 mintues, try to relax and *don't* move"...*Groan*...

Suffice it to say, doing this is very, *very* difficult and doesn't get any easier as time marches on...

Anyway, it's all over now, I walked away with 2 CDs full of interesting shots like this one -

- that show slices of me as if I had been shredded on a giant mandoline...quite amazing!

Next step my consultant, as all that the pictures (although I glanced only briefly) seem to do for me is make me think of Sunday Roast...(which I am fully aware is, at the very *least*, a *little* strange, and potentially a very, *very* wrong reaction indeed)... ;) Just glad they weren't in colour...

Don't worry though, I'm not hungry...right now... ;)

Commuting on Crutches

Anyway, this is what I had written to post at lunch (before the fire!) -

Suffice it to say, commuting on crutches isn't much of a laugh...my knee is playing up again, started to get quite bad during yesterday afternoon, but by the time we had done the shopping, I had cooked supper and we were sat down to watch a movie I was in a considerable amount of discomfort...ended up struggling to up bed at about 9pm and proceeded to have rather a difficult night's sleep, at about 3am I gave in and took one of the strong pain killers I had been given when I had my suspected dislocated patella earlier in the year (only a couple of them left, but at least I did hang on to them), it's funny, but they don't actually stop the pain - I am still fully aware that I'm in agony, but they just sort of let you detech from the experience...good in a way, because you still know not to take the piss and walk around on it, but bad because it's quite diffucult to sleep, my only comfortable position for the knee is laying on my back, but my normal comfy sleeping position is on my right-hand side...all a bit annoying really...

So, with no little amount of trepadation I set off this morning (with crutches attached to arms) to attempt the journey in, unfortunately it just wasn't going to go smoothly, the car needed defrosting, then there was no parking space at the station, then Flyingpops needed a new train ticket (during which time we missed our normal train in to London), then Flyingpops spotted that the young lady had issued her the wrong ticket (thank goodness she checked it!) a weekly instead of a monthly one, so back to the end of the monday morning queue...bleugh...

Anyway, got to London Bridge okay in the end, and struggled down into the tube (escalators are interesting on crutches) and no-one felt inclinded to give me any extra space or consideration (just to make things easier) only to reach the entrance to the Jubilee Line to discover a *massive* crowd, at least 40 people deep (to which Flyingpops exclaimed immediately "Right, you're getting a cab") but I thought I would persist after spotting a wide entrance that looked suitable for my predicament just off to my left...I worked my way through the crowd uttering pleas and apologies until I reached it, but no guard was there to let me through, Flyingpops managed to find a member of staff and after only about 5 minutes pleading with him ("But he is on crutches, he can't make it all the way through that lot!") he begrudgingly opened the gate and I joined the slowly shuffling queue for the escalator (for some reason they had closed the other two and only one was operating), a few wobbly moments later I emerged onto the east bound platform, stood in the queue, and got on the first train (good), but no-one offered me their seat (bad)...

It was only at Canary Wharf that things started to look up, wide concourse, plenty of escalators, helpful staff ("You alright there mate?"), lifts between levels (even outside!), people in the office actually holding doors open for me, and then the exhausted collapse into my chair...

Only to have to do the whole jolly lot again tonight on the way home...I'm going to have no skin left on my hands! :(

Knee update

So went back to the docs this morning (got the 2nd earliest appointment), and was a bit suprised to find a different doctor sat in the consulting room (so, without quite intending to deliberately do so, I got a second opinion)...funny how things work out sometimes... ;)

This time it went like a breeze, a referral is "no problem" and it will be typed up and ready by Saturday! Plus there was none of this talk of exploratory surgery, this doctor said she would be recommending an MRI scan (which sounds much more like it)...! Just hope my normal doctor doesn't get upset by all this... ;)

Anyway, regardless, I'm going to get to see what it's like to be an unwell rich person! I'm quite excited! Knowing my luck though I'll just end up at East Surrey Hospital but just not have to queue up for quite as long... ;)

So...the Knee and F1...

...the doc said that my knee was much improved, but that I should take it easy (no running for buses) for one more week, just try not to stress it too much...and I'm to return next week, so no real progress I'm afraid...

In other news, the four week gap in the F1 calendar is almost over, we'll see what that time has done (development-wise) for the teams over the weekend! Alonso has the home advantage, it being the Spanish GP (which he won last year), but I'll be cheering for Hamilton...oh and David Coultard, who managed to set a new lap record during practice in his funky new Red Bull...wtf?

It's looking like the Circuit de Catalunya might actually host an exciting race this year, especially with the new track layout (supposed to allow more overtaking)! ;)

Normal Service will be resumed soon...

...sorry for the lack of posts, being robbed of mobility makes jack a dull boy, back in London town today (knee much less swolen, the drugs are working, at least, although it took 3 days before I noticed it really starting to improve)...got the docs this pm for my next assessment, I'll let you know how I get on...hopefully(?) I will get my referral to BUPA for exploratory surgery...*shudder*...

I'm sure Peter Andre didn't have to suffer all this before they let him go private...

Knee Injury...again...

Well, here's a novel twist to the knee saga, I just got called "rather stupid" by my GP (no wonder I normally go to the walk in centre)..."You managed to do one thing right" (she was talking about me self medicating anti-inflammatory drugs) "and then forgot about the most important bit - rest". "Going into London", she continued, "is just going to make matters worse, and as for a referral", I had asked her to recommend me to Bupa (as Flyingpops gets free Bupa cover for her nearest and dearest as a benefit at work) "the finest specialist in the country wouldn't touch that knee in it's current state, ask any medical professional and they will tell you the same thing"....("Oh", I thought, a little deflated)..."Now complete rest for one week, take one of these - twice a day" (Diclofenac Sodium, a new one on me), "Come back to me and I will assess you for suitability for exploratory surgery. Oh, don't worry", she said, spotting the fear in my eye, "It will be conducted under a general anaesthetic"...

Thank heavens for small mercies... :(

Dislocated Patella - my last couple of days

A picture for you...in words rather than pixels...

We went down to the coast on the weekend on a mission to score an awning for the camper, being new at this kind of thing we enlisted the help of Flyingpops' mum, she even kindly volunteered to drive, but by the time we had got down there, bought the thing (£50 bargain) , stopped for a quick (rain-soaked) lunch at a garden centre, and got back to Surrey (for me to be dropped off at Vodqueen and Al's) I was seriously limping... :(

Having been cramped up in back of the car for a couple of hours, having really no idea I had put myself into such a terrible position (joints felt slightly stressed, but just thought I should put up with the pain), by the time I had struggled (slightly embarrassed at my lack of mobility) along the flooded path and then into the various painful prone positions required to change CD/DVD drives over configuring VQ/AL's new machine, my knee was swollen to a very nasty degree...
We came home, and gritting my teeth somehow managed to cook dinner and then collapsed onto the sofa in absolute agony...as I fell into my final state of rest, my knee made the most horrible popping/cracking sound (causing Flyingpops to say "Ew!")...

2am I awoke in a similar state, sleep quite impossible, tossing and turning until my thrashing finally awoke Flyingpops (with a groan from her, then a freaked out exclamation, followed by a sleepy elbow into my face, *ouch*) who's (zombie-like bumping-into-walls) rescue mission (once semi-awake) to find some anti-inflammatory drugs succeeded in getting me back into a state of unconsciousness after about 90 minutes...

She dropped me at East Surrey Hospital first thing in the morning (stressed to the hilt, late for her train)...not that she was to know, but it was going to be a long way to hobble from the bus stop where I was dropped to where I (finally) found rest...

I checked in, on my own, (just before 8am), knowing the routine by now, despite the pain - smiling, hopeful of attention (although of course smiling only as often as I felt appropriate) at the lady sat (also alone) behind the bullet proof glass who was both obviously ignoring me and my attempts at eye contact and also ignoring the grating, shrill ring tone of the handset immediately to her right (it must come with practice)...

Ten minutes later (now wincing with pain, eyes watering and smile fading fast) amazingly the receptionist's attention managed to slip from whatever was so interesting about the end of her fingers, to the person stood right in front of her, my details entered, then, into the machine, I was told to report to "the main department"...Hmmm, not been there before...

Two blagged security doors of hobbling along later I was stuck, leant up against a wall, unable to get any further...I stood, exhausted and direction-less next to a swipe card machine and unyielding portal, with a leering sign just beyond hinting that I had at least got near "Childrens A&E"...

The nurse (that eventually materialised from behind) let me though (only about 8 minutes later) giving me a very suspicious look, but directed me finally, to where I should have been ushered initially...it must be noted, at this stage, that none of this misdirection was my fault, there were simply no signs indicating which way I should have gone to get to "the main department"...when I weaved my way between patient after unconcious patient on hospital trolleys, plugged with drips parked along the corridor (making me feel like I really was in completely the wrong place, not being half as poorly as they obviously were) and finally found what looked like the bridge of the starship Enterprise (many monitors all showing vital signs or other intreging readouts) and handed over my form, I was shown to a chair (phew) and then was completely ignored for the next 30 minutes...at this stage I was joined by a man with a bandaged hand (called "Cook") who politely enquired how long I had been waiting. I told him. We wait for another 20 minutes (overhearing a nurse telling one of the patients with a drip "Well, I would go private personally") before being told that we should go back to the entrance and wait at the walk in centre...great...so back I hobble, having the same problem with the doors and lack of signage, sit back where I checked in after re-annoucing my presence to the receptionist and waited some more. Another 20 minutes go by and then "Mr Cook" was called for! >:(

So I wait, find and read a terminally dull magazine called "Kent Life" (from cover to cover) and 40 minutes later Mr Cook comes back out, smiles and waves (git) and I am called in...My examination takes 90 seconds (but hurts a lot), I am told that it's most likely soft tissue damage again caused by a dislocation of my patella, but it might be a fracture, so I need an X-Ray (oh no!), I get placed into a wheelchair and then dumped into the corridor to await a porter. Feeling rather like a parcel awaiting collection I twiddle my thumbs for 15 minutes or so, toy with the idea of using my good leg to propel myself backwards to the X-Ray department and actually have an experimental poke or two, but just manage to face myself into the wall, when a nurse comes round the corner and says "Lets just whisk you up there, if you wait for a porter you'll be here all day" (Yes!)...

So I get to the X-Ray department (she had to drag me backwards because one of the wheels was faulty) and being one of the wheeled wounded (rather than the walking wounded) has a distinct advantage, I skipped the queue, just joining the 6 other people in wheelchairs, a meer 1 hour's wait and I am irradiated, we collect the prints (not sure this was really the best use of the nurses time, but at least I had someone to talk to), and back to see the doctor, who pronounces me just to have soft tissue damage (hurrah!) and the nasty noise on Sunday was my patella popping back into place most likely, binds me up, orders me onto pain killers and 3 days total rest (which I have just concluded), and packs me out the door, ready to process the next case...

You have just got to love the NHS...anyway, all better now, swelling gone down and knee now bearing weight again...I'm going to go to my GP though, at some stage to get it checked out properly and take some advice as to how I can look after it, my mobility is rather important to me...

Extraordinary dream...how to time travel?

...(back to last friday night, knee still very painful), finally fell asleep at 2255hrs, after reading the "River Cottage Cookbook" lamb section for about half an hour, Flyingpops had started snoring, so I just gave up and turned the bedside light off...I'd gone for the knee/pain model which had helped most on Thursday night (i.e not brilliant) - putting a cushion underneath my left leg, and laying straight, i.e dracula coffin-style but with one foot up in the air...(which hadn't worked)...

This time (because I was already awake, rather than being unkindly thrown into that state by sparks through my sleeping mind in agony and confusion) I knew why...I formed a new position to keep my painful knee quite clear of my darling bedfellow... ;)

Once sleep did come, I think I can safely say that what hit me was a quasi-lucid dream, it was absolutely clear, and I think it was the shock of it that woke me up again (well, either that or I got another whack in the leg) but it felt like something out of LOST, my mind came slowly into tune (like adjusting the tuning on a radio) from random thought into (again what felt like, and worked for my memory like) complete conciousness (which it definitely was not, as you will read)...

"Fink...Fink, come ON, are you there?" (I was like "Mmmmm, Nnnnn, wotever...tired...")
"No, come ON, this is really important, come on, wake up right now!!" ("Mmmm..Neh?")
"Listen, I'm talking to you from a different part of time, and yes, I know this sounds like madness" ("Nnnn..."...Frown..."A different part of time?", "What on earth are you on about?" blinking my eyes open...)

I then abruptly found myself standing in Priory Park (near Woodhatch in Surrey), not that I *could* have been standing *anyway* (let alone in Priory Park), thanks to my physical injury, but that didn't seem to worry my metaphysical body, nor did the fact that it seemed to be daytime either...

"Fink, it's vitally important that you listen to me. You will remember this dream for one simple reason, it isn't a dream, this is real".

(What the hell kind of a dream does that to you? Even when I did wake up I was freaked out)...

"Fink, just wait a minute" (I was suspiciously looking around the forest, trying to locate the source of the disembodied voice) "Mankind has made a major mistake in their conclusions about space/time", "Time moves as a vortex, it isn't a straight line", "This is how I am contacting you, there are holes in quantum reality which focus around certain moments, but mankind has misinterpreted them. There are moments when things seem a bit strange, as the French would say, like "Deja Vu", these moments clue us in to those channels, human-kind has ignored these signs"...

"The minute you get that feeling, then, you know, you are at the centre of a sphere that has become thrown from the vortex. The thing you need to know is that these time spheres are only small, maybe 150 yards across in space...all you have to do is find the object within that sphere that means something to you, the thing that triggered the feeling. Something, anything that ties you to that little bit of space/time, then just move it outside the sphere"...

"Why?", "What...? I don't think I understand?"...

"That's the only way you can step outside of time, move the object out of the sphere, step back in, then you are free to use it, it's no longer tied down..." then, with what felt like a bump, I was wide awake in bed...!


Can I have a nice falling dream or something next time...?

(And no, I hadn't watched the last couple of episodes of season 10 of South Park before having the dream either, which freaked me out further)!

Soft Tissue Damage...

What on Earth is it with me at the moment...? Only a couple of months on from the broken finger and I'm back in hospital...!

Ironically, it was exactly the same doctor too, he didn't remember me, I thought about it for a second (as he had been a little judgemental last time) and then decided to remind him of our prior acquaintance...he apologised ("I do see rather a lot of patients, you know"), but then suddenly recalled "Oh yes, you were due to go on holiday just as it happened, did you make it?", so I had actually made something of an impression (not that it's important) but anyway... ;)

To cut another NHS story rather shorter than it probably should have been, I have been, poked, prodded, scanned (all as usual) and then sent home, bound with some wonderful experimental German latex tubigrip replacement (which is going to save the NHS millions, apparently) , am taking drugs whose only function seems to be to make me feel sick, been given a poorly photocopied sheet explaining how to put frozen peas on my leg and have been told to take "total rest" for four days - "don't make any journey further than the loo, Mr Angel, then we might get you back into London for next week"...

Pants...

Skeletomuscular Assessment

Well, after much poking and prodding (even some of the ultra-sonic variety) the professional medical advice is to just whip off the splint (Woo Hoo!) and try and use it as normal (and come back if I have any problems)...I'm not pretending it doesn't hurt to do so, but I'm just so relieved to be rid of all the strapping I'm going about it with optimistic enthusiasm and putting up with the occasional wince...(loosing the reflexive-whipping-of-hand-up-to-opposite-shoulder when anything (even very remotely) threatens to bang my hand may take a little longer... ;)

Best sign of recovery - enthusiastically making a huge bowl of pommes de terre boulangerie last night when *I* had already eaten and Flyingpops' told me she didn't want it with her quiche...it's just about being *able* to do it again... ;)

Home now...

...exhausted, the A30 and and A303 were at a standstill all the way, set off about 1pm and literally only just walked through the door...

Worst. Journey. Ever.

Pics later... ;)

Learning to cope(?) - update

So, went back to the hospital on Monday (sorry, it's taken a while to type all this), my appointment was at 1045hrs, so I arrived fifteen minutes early to check in (in good time). At a rough guess, when I finally managed to get me and my bag through the door, there were about 70 people (not joking) in front of me waiting to be seen...considering this, I was amazed by only having to wait until quarter past twelve to be told I needed another x-ray, wait until 1305 to have that done and 1350 to actually see the doctor...looks like fresh intakes get the priority, but if so, why issue appointment times at all?? What a waste of time...anyway, the doctor said that the bone was knitting well and then dropped the bombshell...no right arm for 3 more weeks, I have to keep the stupid f**king sling on...I also asked him about the fact that (it only having been one week) my other fingers (the ones that aren't bound together) are starting to visibly atrophy and turn worryingly grey (can barely flex them now)...but he said we'll "worry about that when the bone is healed" :(

Anyway, hospital horror aside, how am I getting on?

Worst thing? Painkillers running out at between 3am and 5am and my recurring dream of being flung around on public transport...the blinding pain when my unconscious mind makes me clench my right hand trying to grab an imaginary hand rail wakes me up with a start every time...ouch... :(

One of the best things so far? Sticky Keys! If you use Windows you can try it yourself, it's part of the built-in accessability functionality - hit the left shift key five times in a row (do it fast), then hit "ok" at the dialogue. Now, in order (one at a time) hit "Ctrl", then "Alt" and finally "Delete" - it's magic (shame it's a bit noisy!), but at least that's the end of me asking colleagues to help me lock/unlock my workstation (hit shift five times slowly to turn it off again btw)! Can't aim my mouse very well still though, and typing remains problematic (doesn't take long before my hand gets cramp), been playing with Dasher in an effort to solve this, but with weak mouse skills it's awkward, a little hypnotic (to say the least) and at my speeds, seems to have slowed me down to about four words a minute (as opposed to my normal 8000)...Certainty gives you plenty of time to think about what you want to say though ("Ent Meet" springs to mind)....still, when the cramp starts in my left hand I am left with little option... :(

Writing (pen-fashion) remains impossible, as are shoe laces...if I'm eating meat then someone has to cut it up for me (on Sunday Mr S chopped up baby Alexander's supper and then chopped up mine)...I'm learning to read books left handed (without dropping them and loosing my place *too* often), and the toilet is getting easier (thank God)...shooting with the tripod is easy but setting it up is hard, maybe a few pics soon though... ;)

Holiday starts tomorrow, the plan to go camping in the tent has been abandoned but a little bit of negotiation has netted us a "For Sale" caravan to rent for the duration, we've booked it for four nights with an option to extend (assuming it's not too difficult to cope, if it's tough we'll just come home and do a foreign holiday later in the year)...

So, swings and roundabouts, really looking forward to the rest...just hope it's possible...cross your fingers for me! ;)

Coping with a broken finger...

...it's (despite filler content), got to be more interesting (to satisfy the ghoulishness in you) to hear about what sucks about loosing your primary limb...none of this is terribly amusing to me, but I'm trying to look on the bright side...so, what has been really difficult thus far?

Having no limb on the right hand side to stop you toppling over if public transport launches you the wrong way, getting into the office the other day was genuinely scary (no-one offered me a seat)

I cannot type or mouse properly (as previously mentioned)...

I cannot play any games (I just can't *imagine* what it would be like to permanently loose a limb - GAME OVER)

I am restricted to innacurate (left) messy hand-to-mouth pot-style noodle consumption (teeth/fist/headbutt opening, but squeezing the sauce out is a messy nightmare) - chopping/eating/anything interesting is just impossible with my left hand

I can't cut my toe-nails

Toilet/bathroom hygine is very challenging (I hate to ask you to use your imagination) :(

Deodourant on the left hand side is impossible without hitting myself (at least a little) in the face with the spray

I can't put my own socks on (very quickly) small ones are almost impossible, larger ones take ages... :(

I can't take any pictures, left hand only photographers, I salute you...I can't even hold it up and aim it properly...just shakes...

My right shoulder is in constant spasm/cramp

My broken digit is constantly throbbing (in a nasty way)

My right palm constantly gets "pruned"...

This sucks... :(

(thanks again Flyingpops for help typing, just need to get you trained up on Flickr now ;)