Rambo III - America and Afghanistan

Not sure why I picked this particular film, but (perhaps) in a fit of desperation (awaiting new season House/Lost/Dexter/South Park/Amazing Race/etc.) I decided a week or two ago to rewatch the 1998 movie "Rambo III"...yep, I already said I'm not sure why, I don't need any other opinions as to my dodgy decision-making process to join my pre-existing confusion (that could get messy)...But actually (I am pleased to report), it turned out to be a surprisingly good choice... ;)

The last time I saw this movie was on a rubbish pirate video sometime in the late eighties (yes, it's that old) at a friend of a friend's house party...there was a lot of "male" behaviour taking place at the same time (probably involving beer and fighting) and to be honest, as a result I really couldn't remember much about the film apart from a lot of helicopter gunships and Rambo managing to single-handedly drive and fire the big gun on a tank (meaning that on top of all his other powers, he must also be able to stretch out his arms like Mr Tickle)...

Anyway, it just so turns out (I'm still tittering to myself about it), the story revolves around Troutman storming into Afghanistan to punish the *eviiiil* Russians for their dreadful treatment of the poor Afghan freedom fighters (awww)...and it lays it on *extremely* thick - how *dare* the Russians invade this country - the tense, steel jawed exchange between Troutman (when he is inevitably captured, prompting Rambo to take up arms and come to rescue him) and the Russian commander are an ironic cinematic treasure..."We've already had our Vietnam"...and the simply brilliant exchange when Rambo rides out with his adopted Taliban brave local freedom fighters -
Mousa: This is Afghanistan...Alexander the Great try to conquer this country...then Genghis Khan, then the British. Now Russia. But Afghan people fight hard, they never be defeated. Ancient enemy make prayer about these people... you wish to hear?
Rambo: Um-hum.
Mousa: Very good. It says, 'May God deliver us from the venom of the Cobra, teeth of the tiger, and the vengeance of the Afghan.' Understand what this means?
Rambo: That you guys don't take any shit?
Mousa: Yes...something like this.

Oh dear...*sigh*...I'm wiping the tears from my eyes even as I type these words...I won't ruin any more of it, just in case you need a good laugh yourself... ;)

I can successfully manipulate time...

I'm not joking, and it's actually rather easy - you may doubt me, so let's first off just consider the facts - we all know that time (albeit in a very small way) can be sped up by moving reasonably quickly (through the experimentally proven fact of "time dilation" - it's not a tricky read, but to summarise) - travel fast and time actually (for you) passes more slowly (this is compared to everyone at rest, or moving more slowly than you)...it's a tiny *weeny* effect (0 mph compared to 600 mph makes a difference only if you are able to measure billionths of a second) unless, that is, you start to approach the speed of light, when it all suddenly becomes deeply serious (mere minutes with the foot on the light speed pedal - a quick nip around the solar system - and when you land your shiny space ship you may find that everyone you ever knew has died of old age!  A big trip and you may return to a new civilization (a few bits of your old life might lay smashed up in a museum somewhere - if you are lucky), or take a wrong turn and the next geological age may await  (i.e. everything you ever knew is gone and the Insect Overlords now rule the Earth)...

Anyway, back to my point, my level of manipulation (while not being as puny as to almost evade an atomic clock, nor as powerful as the Tardis) sits somewhere inbetween - and it's simple and documented too, even though it wasn't penned by Einstein - just borrowed from the long handed-down saying "Time flies when you are having fun"...my theory of perceptual time dilation is flexible too, allowing both speeding up and slowing down of time, and the rates by which they are chained are extremely reliable...

I do it like this - if I want time to *really* slow down then I pick up a book and read (30 minutes of perception then regularly equals about 10 minutes of actual time)...if I want time to be *deleted* (almost immediately), then all I need to do is pick up a game - PSP or DS if I'm on the move, 360 when I'm at home (20 minutes of perception equals (usually) 57 minutes of actual time) and if I want time to run just about normally?  All I do is stick on TV or a movie and time ticks along pleasantly and normally (10 minutes equals 10 minutes)...

So I can (very) effectively control my perception of time just the same as if I had a little temporal remote control, just by varying my behaviour... ;)  I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it's been interesting to measure it... ;)

Born of Hope - New Hobbit movie - Casting call

Well this is all quite exciting, a group of British film makers (led by writer/director/producer Kate Madison) are pursuing a "not for profit" project to make a motion picture rival to Jackson/Del Toro's "The Hobbit" inspired by a couple of paragraphs of Tolkien's (regarding Aragorn's parents) from the appendix of "The Lord of the Rings"...the exciting thing about it is the sheer number of people getting behind it to offer their support for free, props are being begged and borrowed without a fee, and all number of people are giving their time and resources for free, from make-up artists to all the actors (over 100 have lent their time and talents so far), filming is taking place in Epping Forest (near London), Bury St Edmonds (in Suffolk) and Snowdonia in Wales, so if you can cobble together an appropriate costume and get yourself to one of those locations you may be able to join in the fun as they are currently appealing for extras...!

At the Mountains of Madness - movie confirmed!

This is just a *complete* dream come true...(well, actually that should probably read "nightmare come true" thanks to the subject matter involved)..."Hobbit" director Guillermo del Toro (of "Pans Labyrinth" fame) has finally managed to get financing to film his movie based on Lovecraft's classic story "At the Mountains of Madness", he was originally trying to get it all moving back in 2006...I had feared it would never happen as at the time he was quoted as saying "The studio is very nervous about the cost and it not having a love story or a happy ending, but it's impossible to do either in the Lovecraft universe", which at the time filled me with equal amounts of respect (for his integrity), joy (that someone actually talented was going to try and faithfully tackle a Lovecraft tale on the silver screen) and total dispair (that as a result of trying to be true to the piece it probably wasn't ever going to see the light of a projector bulb)...

I now await this movie with fevered anticipation (and an appropriate amount of twitching)...

Deep Hollywood voice - "Millenia after the Eldar abandoned their hidden cyclopean city in the frozen wastes of Antartica, their alien shuggoth slaves live on...hulking in the dark...and they are pretty tired of the taste of penguins"...(although on reflection the studio will probably come up with a slightly better tag line... ;)

OMG! The Watchmen trailer is out!

Watch it here...NOW! It just can't be as good as the graphic novel, can it??

I am finding myself starting, just starting to dare to hope... <:0

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Movie review

Harry Potter! Drove over to Crawley today to catch the latest movie, didn't really know what to expect after the disappointingly rushed feeling evoked in the last film (by trying to cram effectively two film's-worth of material into the running time of one)...this one didn't have quite as much content to condense (so an easier job for the director), but once the story *had* been distilled, I dunno, I just felt like perhaps the joy of *reading* TOTP might have actually been taking the ride alongside Harry, through all his ups and downs and really, apart from Sirius' departure, the story (as a whole) isn't advanced very far at all during this book, it's more a tale of growing up - skipping the Cho/Harry difficulties (apart from one sentence from Hermione, summing it up neatly) and one kiss, even that essential part of the story ended up largely on the cutting room (or more likely, the script meeting room) floor...action was good (highlight being the battle between Dumbledore and Voldemort), lowlight being the DA easily brushing off the early attentions of the Death Eaters and then suddenly *all* being caught and helpless at the exact same moment, that really didn't work...casting was frankly superb, the highlight for me was the tragically under-used Timothy Bateson's "Kreacher", so wonderfully resentful and thoroughly believable (my imagination got no-where near that good)...Imelda Staunton's "Umbridge" was excellent too, but didn't quite communicate the absolutely unswerving mania I got from the book (close though, I couldn't imagine anyone else doing a better job of it), again , Evanna Lynch's Luna, not *quite* the character I know and love, but I can't honestly think of anyone who could have done a better job...all in all, not as good as the first two movies, but a *hell* of a step up from the last one...

Oh and we also got to see some of the multi-million pound hype engine for the Simpsons movie...it's everywhere...even the "please turn your mobile phone off" message was sponsored by them...same with the drinks and the popcorn...just wonder why it's taken 18 years to arrive...

Simpsons Movie Avatar

Hehe, well, there never was going to be a hair style on there quite like mine, this was the closest I could get without resorting to "Sideshow Bob"'s hair, which might have been a bit over the top... ;)

If you want to make your own avatar, visit http://www.simpsonsmovie.com/ (Flash site btw)...

In other Simpsons news, some marketing *genius* has made a deal with the US convenience store 7-11 to re-brand 12 of the stores (across the US) as "Kwik-e-Mart"s to hype the movie! Just astonishingly ingenious, there are some excellent pictures of one of the stores on a flickr stream here, it's an amazing transformation...! I've just looked and those six packs of buzz cola are trading on ebay for $25! ;)

The marketing machine is obviously working on me, I'm getting really quite excited about seeing it now!

[Fink closes eyes, crosses fingers and whispers] "pleasedon'tsuckpleasedon'tsuckpleasedon'tsuck"...

Film set - Christmas returns to Shere

So, a little unreal, we went to Shere today (after a tip-off from Tommo on Friday) we ended up completely unexpectedly on our way past the village where Hollywood are working their magic turning spring into midwinter! They are currently filming "The Holiday" with Kate Winslett, Justin Timberlake, Jude Law, Cameron Diaz and a few others...suffice it to say, I took a few shots... ;)

The prop department have been working overtime making the town's grocer's shop overflow with Christmas wreath/tree/sprout etc..

Close up on the town's off licence showing chalked Christmas promotion ;)

A completely fake sign...? The stuff on the right is quite correct, but the stuff on the left ain't there (as far as I can find anyway!) looks like that might be a plot point in the film?

The "snow" turning to muddy mush...it does look like it melts if exposed to water, and there was a small fire engine sat in the village (see the previous shot) that might have come in to play later on (after we left)...

Looks like they needed a few extra street lights... ;)

And the magic of the movies turns the graveyard white, they used white sheets of fabric so perhaps the churchyard was only seen from a distance...?

And a view down the high street...click the pics for bigger versions... ;)

It's funny, I said this to Flyingpops on the way back home, but if someone told you they "worked in the movies" you would be really impressed and interested, but the bored, grumpy guys in HVJs sweeping up the mess and directing traffic (after the glamorous people departed the day before) probably wouldn't agree...

Other news of the day, bought a posh German suit for the funeral/general office use (the Germans make "off the rail" suits in the correct length for my frame, English tailors don't) at the big/tall shop in Woking, it's so cool (and this wasn't even noticed until we got home and *certainly* would have sold it to me when I was in the store, even if it hadn't fitted perfectly) it's got the following features-

• Anti-Wrinkle alloy-fabric material construction (little or no pressing required)
• Anti-bacterial agents woven into the fabric (kills bugs!)
• Anti-odour agents woven into the fabric (destroys smell!)
• Travel-safe security zipped and buttoned interior pockets (4!)
• SPECIAL FUNCTION - With no effect on reception, a short-wave emission blanking lined pocket (it absorbs 80% of the potentially body damaging mobile phone emissions)...w o w!

(never bought a suit with a "Special Function" before! :0)