Mmmm...love the tube...

...when there aren't *any* commuters... ;)

TFL Wasting Money

This does annoy me, and I hope it annoys you too...a big fat flat panel TV, purchased and mounted at some expense at London Bridge underground station...it's apparent purpose?  To display a digital rendering of a much cheaper analogue clock (which would have been perfectly fit for purpose)...

Hopefully (and I really mean that) there are great plans for it in the future, but at the moment it sits there (day after day) looking like a rather stupid waste of passengers hard earned money...

Commuting in a Heatwave

I do hate commuting in this heat but beyond the absolutely obvious (i.e. carrying a bottle of water), there are a few things that I have discovered to maximise comfort (although admittedly it's never going to be a pleasure)...first off (and I haven't got to this stage yet) commute in shorts, packing your smart trousers to change into later...on Southern trains (probably applies to other train operators too), if you happen to walk into a carriage and the air conditioning is off, don't just sit down, cursing the conductor for his (or her) inattentiveness - try moving carriages - chances are you have just been unlucky and stumbled on one where the system is broken, yesterday this happened to me but when I checked, the aircon was working fine in the carriage next door, my solution (so I still got a seat) was to prop my trusty rucksack in the gap keeping the cool breeze flowing...next, pick up a Metro as early as possible in the journey (London Bridge for me), once you have read it, it doubles up as an excellent fan... ;)

Jubilee line specific hack here, but it may well work on other lines - when queuing for a door, make sure you go for either the front or back of the carriage (never the middle two doors), as the train windows generate a terrific breeze (from the front during acceleration, from the back during braking), either is good (front is slightly better though, as the train usually spends more time accelerating than slowing down)...if you absolutely can't get into either of these positions, take the middle doors but stay as close to them as you can, a gentler (but still welcome) breeze blows through here all the time through the gaps at the side while the train is moving (and of course when the train stops you can poke your head out to gulp a few fresh breaths of fresh air)...however the ultimate Jubilee line hack (which I saved for last) is (of course) not to even use it at all...the Thames Clippers' new Canary Wharf Express from London Bridge takes about the same amount of time as the tube and yesterday I sat outside (by the engines) getting deliciously sprayed with cool water the whole way...

I actually arrived in the office with a smile on my face... ;)

Jubilee Line Delays

Urgh...got stuck on the tube for nearly an hour this morning, I groaned when I turned the corner towards the barriers to see an unmoving wall of people, but peering over everyones heads I could see that they were allowing a trickle of people through the gates, so all was not completely lost...I did, for a second, consider heading for the boat, but being already delayed I opted for skirting the mass of bodies (dashing briefly through the pouring rain outside) and sneaked into the Northern Line entrance (not the best secret shortcut, but the terrible weather ruled out a trip quite that far while exposed to the elements)...I wove my way through the crowd listening to announcements telling me that the Jubilee Line was part suspended and we were all being advised to seek alternative modes of transport and finally hit the escalator down to platform level...there, I watched 3 full trains go before I managed to barge onto one, managed with a deft wiggle to sneak into the aisle between the seats (the preferred place to stand, as you have guaranteed newspaper room), hung on for dear life as we pulled out of London Bridge, got Bermondsey out of the way fairly quickly and then just sat in the tunnel for about 40 minutes, the driver coming onto the tannoy system every few minutes to explain to us (in some rough approximation of English) that we weren't moving because there was a red signal (really?) and this being is thanks to "a passenger on a train in Finchley"...as good as an excuse as any I suppose, but I did start to wonder (after about 20 such announcements) if he was ever going to actually tell us what the passenger was doing on the train to cause the delay...he then started mumbling something about fires, which (apart from causing some concern) created a mental picture of commuters huddling round them for warmth - then - without a single word of warning he jammed on the accelerator causing several people to loose balance and topple into those standing around them (to much tutting and ruffled smoothing down of designer suits)...the announcements at Canary Wharf were being done by someone with an ounce more IQ, it actually turns out these naughty passengers were actually being taken ill on the packed trains, the trackside fire had been earlier on, causing the initial delay that was causing people to collapse, the whole thing forming up into a big self-perpetuating wheel of woe...

The rain, when I finally emerged into it at the Canary Wharf end, was actually rather welcome...I love the commute... ;)

Multiple Signal Failure Canary Wharf

Grrr!  Just spent almost 50 minutes underground stuck squashed onto a packed Jubilee line train...the ever-so kind driver was doing his best to keep us up to date - every 3 or 4 minutes he came back on the public address system to tell us that he *still* hadn't managed to get in touch with anyone from the control centre and had "no further information"...I suppose at least that sort of counts as communication...turns out it was multiple signal failure at Canary Wharf (for what it's worth)...I do wonder, when this happens why they can't just count the trains in and out of stations by radio communication, it's not like they don't have them, and it should be quite easy for the drivers to report their location, like a sort of "Train 3, now move up one stop and wait for further instructions" kind of thing?  Or am I missing something?

Thank goodness I was on the super early train into London Bridge, that meant (despite the delay) I only walked into the (completely empty) office 4 minutes late...there will be an awful lot of people crunched up behind me, hope the Thames Clipper has more than one ticket person working this morning...!

Way to ruin my happy, sunny Friday feeling, TFL! >:(

Free Baby on Board badge - TFL

This is a really very sensible idea, shortly after Flyingpops contacted TFL (you can get straight to them via email at babyonboard@tube.tfl.gov.uk, or ring up London Underground customer services on 0845 330 9880) and they will post you (for free - yes, don't go poking around on ebay) with a little note of congratulation, this little badge to display on your overcoat, just to let other users of the London transport infrastructure know that you are not (in fact) just being slovenly and putting on a little weight, but actually with "issue", and thus deserving of a priority seat rather than a derisory glare...

They announced this (albeit small) step forward as a result of a survey of pregnant women in 2006 which concluded with the so called "Mind the Bump" report...and it detailed some quite shocking findings -

• More than two thirds (71 per cent) of pregnant women in the Capital cited rude and discourteous behaviour as a growing source of anxiety and stress during pregnancy
• One in three (36 per cent) frequently felt they had to avoid public transport for fear of having to stand for the duration of the journey
• One in five (20 per cent) of expectant mums in the Capital spend more than £100 on taxis and private vehicles during their pregnancy to avoid situations where they may have to stand for long periods of time on the Tube
• London emerged as the least pregnancy-friendly place in the UK, with 45 per cent of London mums having saddened by the lack of consideration they were shown while pregnant (Wales was the best, just in case you were wondering)

- just at the minute Flyingpops doesn't actually *look* terribly pregnant, and on at least one occasion having the badge has already proved useful to her, but it's still quite shocking to hear her tell me stories of having to yell out "I'm Pregnant" to even get people to let her crush *onto* a full and standing train...let alone get anywhere *near* a priority seat...

Naughty London...still a long way to go to actual civilisation... :(

Slip testing in Canary Wharf

Saw this lot the other day in the cavernous space that is ground floor reception for One Canada Square (one floor above the actual ground where all the shops are and the tube station entrance lurks)...they were building a complicated mechano set designed to hold aloft (at a 45 degree angle to the floor) something that resembled a cobblers "last" (there, you learned something today already and I haven't even got to the point of my post yet!)...turns out, the building was undergoing some "slip testing", whereby they use this contraption to perform the so-called "pendulum slip test" to guage the resistence levels present in the floor surfaces (so if anyone falls over they can show them a bit of paper saying it's unlikely to be the fault of the building's owners)...perhaps they could pick up their kit and take it 200 yards to the entrance to the Jubilee line, where at the first sign of rain (as I noted previously) all resistance seems to completely dissapear!

Still, it shows that they *do* care in my office (at least... ;)

Views of the London Underground

Slippery Surfaces - Canary Wharf

It really looks like fog doesn't it? It wasn't though, it was extremely dense but very fine rain, you know the kind...you think "Well, this isn't too bad" and five minutes later it's like you have been standing in the shower...this lead to some absolutely *deadly* conditions on the highly polished surfaces around "The Wharf", especially as I have just given up on my nice black Nikes (they had developed several new ventilation points over the summer, which in the words of the immortal song are now "letting in water") for a pair of quite nice grey and flourescent orange Vans, which unfortunately don't possess much in the way of grip (strange considering they are a popular shoe of choice for the "sk8terboi" set)...alright normally (as long as I am near something I can grab on to) but this morning the train was cancelled from Earlswood (only the second time since I changed hours) meaning I was in a bit of a hurry - actually, it's always bothered me that...in places where moisture is occasionally inevitable, why voluntarily put down shiny hard surfaces? Like *all* Spanish bathrooms being fitted out with shiny tiles for example? Yes it looks pretty, but the potential for accidents is high (I slipped practically every day getting out of the shower in Mexico until I remembered to put a towel down before I started), do these property managers want to get sued?

Anyway, like the towel outside the shower, I've got a bit of a method worked out now to dry the soles quickly and stay under control, as I come off the wet (and perfectly grippy) pavement and onto the slippery concourse I propel myself a little like an ice skater, skidding in a fashion whereby I don't actually lift my feet off the ground, it only takes 4 or 5 little "slides" until I feel the grip start to return...admittedly it probably looks absolutely ridiculous, but I don't care about that one jot as long as I stay upright... ;)

Engineering works and disruption - Redhill to Coulsdon South

All the fun of the "fare" today...there are *week* long engineering works on the line that goes from Redhill to Coulsdon South meaning *all* trains from our area to London Bridge have been completely cancelled...two alternatives are left, (neither of them are particularly attractive) -

1 - Bus to Redhill, wait for a replacement bus service to Purley (and there are terrible road works along there that we discovered on Timmy's stag do), wait at Purley for a train to East Croydon, then wait at East Croydon for a service to London Bridge - estimated journey time - how long is a piece of string...?
2 - Drive to Earlswood as usual (wade through the crowds of people who have come from Redhill that aren't usually Earlswood passengers), wait on the wrong platform (no sign to tell us, thanks) for a train to Victoria (which is the wrong side of London completely for the Docklands), forget trying to find a seat and just look for any tiny space to crush into), this train then has to go the wrong way down the track, wait until nothing is coming (took about ten minutes this morning) and then sneak onto the Gatwick Express line (which is not part of the engineering works), get off at Victoria (where 3 of the entrances to the tube were closed today thanks to overcrowding by all the extra people trying to use it), get the District line to Westminster and then change onto the Jubilee line to complete my journey...

We did option two...and somehow, this total hash of a journey managed to get me into work about fifteen minutes earlier than usual...go figure...!

On the way home it's *five* separate stages on the railway alone (including the replacement bus through the road works), and the two tube journeys unless I can get on the train out of Victoria that leaves at 1710...somehow I get the feeling that this isn't going to be a very enjoyable week...

Nokia Headphones - New heights of embarrasment

My love/hate relationship with my Nokia N73 continues - it's managed to learn a a new trick now, a very, very annoying one...the other day I was merrily continuing my journey through the top 100 classical tunes of all time when I arrived at London Bridge station, tutted slightly at the reduced gate entry for the Jubilee line but joined in the scrum, suffering some inevitable gentle knocks/the odd rucksack in the face/briefcase in the shins...as I shuffled slowly forwards though the neatly dressed queue, the track I was listening to drew to a jolly (kettle drum filled) conclusion and there was a short pause while the gremlin in the phone threw his newspaper to the floor and scrambled to flip the tiny record over...oddly the next track was of noticeably worse quality, but I shrugged and turned the volume up a notch or two (nearing maximum), got to the barrier and slipped in my season ticket and began my two escalator descent into the bowels of London...

The platform was quite busy, I had to wait for around five minutes, surrounded by a crush of fellow commuters but eventually a train with enough room arrived and I "twister"'ed my way into a fairly comfortable position (i.e. one with a good amount of head room and minimal back pain)...as we pulled away from London Bridge (after a couple of attempts by the driver to get the doors to shut without any limbs poking out) I started to notice a young couple peering up at me through the forest of clinging arms, talking quietly and giggling (and then looking embarrassed at themselves as they noticed me noticing them with my slightly confused "is this *really* a laughing matter?" expression)...and then one of my ear buds fell out (as they have a habit of doing) and it immediately became apparent that for the last 10 minutes, not only had I been enjoying Mozart's Klavierkonzert (and whatever had been on before that, and maybe before that) I had also been broadcasting it at full volume through the (excellent) handset speaker to all of those around me...*sigh*...

Face+Palm...(still, at least this time it was pretty far from the worst thing I could have been listening to)...

Escalator policy London Underground

What is it with escalators at the moment? At Canary wharf they've been building scaffolding around the "DLR level" to "Mid shopping level" escalator for a few days now (started last week), meaning it's upward partner has been stopped and turned into a narrow flight of stairs (left hand side is up and right hand side is down...not the kind of thing you see every day) -

- big queues at the top and bottom at busy times, but then they just occasionally turn it back on again so everyone wastes their time heading for it before having to reverse course and use one of the DLR staircases (yes, very sensible, commuters can put up with more than most people, but some consistency, please)...and to watch them wasting their time turning it into an advertising poster site while they should be working on fixing it is actually probably rather more frustrating...



Next up is London Bridge...they have taken to switching all the escalators one would normally take up towards the mainline station to coming *down* to the platform (at exactly the time when no-one is trying to go in that direction)...this has been for almost two weeks now (update - finally fixed today!)...with no sensible reason why the trickle of folks coming in this direction can't do it via the stairs from the Northern line...

This makes the evening rather inconvenient as it means me getting onto completely the other end of the train at Canary Wharf (the end, of course, where all the escalators are all going the wrong direction - i.e. upwards - again, at this time of night would it not make sense to turn them back the other way?) and then coming out to the secret Borough High street exit...about a 6 minute walk from London Bridge mainline (at top speed)...*very* annoying! :(

I'd love to understand the logic behind the latter contraflow (you can understand closure for maintenance from time to time), but surely it would be sensible to always weight (consistency again) the majority of the escalators in the direction of the majority of the foot flow? Would it be so hard to do that?

"Whiskey tango foxtrot, over" ;)

Capital Radio at Canary Wharf

Wow, two posts in one day and we're not even at 9am yet (scroll down for the links if that's what you came for)...anyway, it's been a bit of an eventful morning already, watching BBC Breakfast they announced that the Oyster system (those cards used to pay for using the London Underground and buses) was in meltdown, and it was actually much better as many of the barriers were just left open as a result...queues were reduced, platforms were emptier, shame they can't manage to break it more often... ;)

Picked up some more free chewing gum at London Bridge then got to Canary Wharf and just as Flyingpops told me on the train (she was listening to the wireless on her mobile) the Capital Radio roadshow was right outside the tube station, Johnny Vaughn was right there inside the black routemaster, blaring out (just as I approached) that "this is probably the biggest outside broadcast we have ever done, there are absolutely thousands of people out there", of course, he didn't realise that there are *always* absolutely thousands of people at Canary Wharf but a good 100 or so had stopped to watch and listen (or join in by having their heads shaved for charity) -

- which surprising numbers of people were actually doing -

- I managed to resist...got my haircut booked for tomorrow morning... ;)

Canary Wharf - Funny london underground announcement

So just as I'm getting off the tube at Canary Wharf this morning, a cheeky chappie with a strong East-end accent comes on the tannoy system and announces to all and sundry - "Please note that London Underground do not operate the same access policy as Tesco, you've all got to have a ticket" to much amusement from my fellow commuters, and I imagine to the immense embarrasement of a would-be fare dodger... ;)

TFL - Refunds and free SMS service updates

So, I'm doing things from now on -

1) If my tube journey is delayed by over 15 minutes per day, I'm filling out this form, done it twice now, and each time been refunded my £4 tube fare (nice), just wish the mainline train companies would offer that, however, they say they won't help you unless the delay is in excess of an *hour*...which only happens once in a blue moon...

2) I'm also having a go at the free automatic SMS travel alerts service, it texts you whenever you like to let you know how your *exact* tube journey is looking (so for me it's London Bridge to Canary Wharf, morning and evening) just 5 or 10 minutes before you are due to actually do it and inform you of any delays, so in theory, if the tube is mucking up I will now never ever have to go down the escalator to find out that fact...I'll just be able to walk straight to the boat and then submit my complaint form! Result!

Jubilee Line - Experimental floor markings?

During the course of the week some nice floor markings have started to appear on the platforms along the Jubilee line (on the London Underground), the only problem being, they seem to be different not only at each platform, but in some cases, at each door...some much more confusing than others...as of yesterday people still seem to be completely ignoring them when the platforms are busy (making life very difficult for the poor souls trying to get off the trains)...so I'm guessing hoping we are all being watched on CCTV to see which design has the greatest effect on crowd behaviour, rather than it just being sloppily implemented... ;)

Thames Barrier Raised

Well, so this morning we are facing "Extreme danger to life and property", peering out the window I'm afraid the only sign of anything untoward occuring is the obvious sight of the Thames Barrier being raised (if you click that picture I have put a note on the flickr page to show you where to look), and they hadn't even put all of it up when I took this photo, although looking out the window now it does appear to be stretching all the way across...haven't checked the news yet, but the tidal surge was supposed to strike the east coast at about 8am, guess it will take a couple of hours to work it's way all the way up the Thames, pictures later on if Canary Wharf goes underwater (although it's not going to get my feet wet as I'm on the 20th floor)... ;)

In other news, had a bit of a panic on the tube today thanks to a bit of slightly unusual behaviour - just as the doors were closing at Bermondsey someone (just out of the corner of my eye, as I was reading my copy of Metro at the time) appeared to throw a large rucksack onto the packed carriage and then walked away! My mind immediately ran along a very unpleasant fantasy whereby the rucksack started smoking, everyone panicked (followed by mass death and destruction) I looked around for an emergency button and couldn't see one anywhere, looked around to see if anyone else was worrying and then noticed a very small backpacker sat on the floor on the *other side* of the door reaching between someones legs to get a book out of a side pocket...Grrr...

Jubilee Line this morning...

...seems to be full of problems, just lucky I missed them! All around me are tales of delays and woe - "Yeah, everything is delayed", "Just had some woman faint on me! Landed right on my legs where I was sat" - so seems like I had a lucky escape! Might be something to do with the distinctly "jafakan" announcer at London Bridge who was urging everyone "If you see any space in de carriage just push right on, go raiight far it, that way we alll gettin' where we want much quick, aiiri?"...

Tube Strike - London Gridlock

Got stuck on the bus today on the way in (not here, just had a long wait for the lights on the Greys Inn Road), but (very annoyingly) actually within sight of my office. So I had to stand by the doors and wait until the driver could pull the 15 feet required to actually reach the bus stop...

Apparently there is a policy on London buses whereby they won't open the doors anywhere other than at designated stops (for health and safety reasons), I do think it's a bit silly though, it wasn't as if I was asking to leap from the vehicle as it careered along, we were at a total standstill, virtually at the stop, and I would have been stepping off straight onto the pavement, but the answer was "Sorry Mate" none-the-less...Still it's a hell of a lot better than the tube would have been... ;)

London Bus Strike

It would have been wonderful if *any* of the newspapers I read (on average 4 per day) had mentioned that today, when I got to the number 17 bus stop, there would be 4 people in HVJ's (this is becoming a habit!) politely explaining (while they smoked cigarettes) that the bus drivers union was out on strike (the first time in seven years incidentally). Not all of it, just Metroline, so I could still get to Kings Cross apparently, but as he began to explain the series of changes required my eyes began to glaze over, at which point Flyingpops chipped in with "Or he could just get the tube?", which earned the parrot-like response of "Or you could just get the tube, mate"...

I got the tube...

The Victoria line was suspended too (marvelous), and several of the ticket barriers into both the Jubilee Line and the Northern line were out of action meaning the queues to get down into hell were almost soul destroying...when I had completed the zombie shuffle through I had to stand and wait on Platform 1 for 15 minutes, watching 3 packed trains come, wait for a minute and then go...perhaps disgorging/devouring 2 or 3 people from/into the humid, chaotic tangle to cries of "There isn't any more room!" and "Stop pushing!"...

When I did finally squeeze onto a train I didn't get a seat until Angel (one stop before Kings Cross) and my Metro got all crumpled up...

What a wonderful way to start the day...I've managed to get dirty, smelly, sweaty, stressed, and I've achieved all that before the hour of 9am...! Result...!