Dapper, Dorking, (suit hire) Review

This morning we drove over to Dorking, to meet up with Tommo and visit "Dapper" (that Flyingpops continually, but quite accidentally refers to as "Dappers" (which unfortunately means something quite different in schoolboy slang))...It turns out to be quite a nice, fairly well-to-do little gentleman's outfitter, stocking everything one would require for any kind of formal dress, including a large number of variously coloured accessories -

- enabling some degree of colour co-ordination with what the ladies will be wearing, after a little initial tension from the staff (obviously a bit confused as to why I was waving the camera around, and obviously no idea at *all* what a "blogger" is, as that reason, when offered as an explanation, just met a completely blank face), we were measured up (which, as the sales person was extremely short, involved me getting onto my knees on more than one occasion) -

We then had to endure slightly more confusion - apparently, thanks to the "lucky" date 7/7/7 coming up soon (and falling on a weekend) a record number of weddings are taking place, and that as a result, many of the suits that we *would* have been able to try on, were already out hanging in people's cupboards, ready to be worn...however, the suits we actually wanted to try on, *were* in stock, so I'm not sure what the protracted explanation was for (anyway)... ;)

We tried them on, loved them, paid the deposit and they had the perfect sizes to fit both Tommo and myself, so it was a bit of a no brainer (rather expensive, but we'd be lucky to walk into anywhere else and pick up perfectly fitting, matching suits for two more variously outsized individuals than ourselves)... ;)

So, in conclusion, the staff could have been a lot more welcoming and polite (there was no "the customer is always right" in evidence, in fact, quite the opposite), stock was exhaustive, covering all extremes of sizes, but some of it looked a little on the tatty side (my trousers weren't finished at the bottom) or dirty (two of the jackets I saw had hair stuck on them), so check what it looks like when you pick it up (sure it will be perfectly pressed and dry cleaned though, they wouldn't be in business otherwise), and it's on the expensive side, so if you *aren't* outsize, you could most likely find somewhere a lot cheaper (our bill will be around £100 per person)...

London Canal Museum (in the rain)

Join me, in a peek out the cell window at the cloudburst happening currently a few feet behind my desk...nice weather for ducks...*shiver*...

Terror Attack foiled - Haymarket

Wonderful, not a word on the news (watched BBC breakfast before I set off, concentrating firmly on Tim Henman and new cabinet), nothing in the papers, and what do I find when I get into town? A (and I quote) "massive" device was made safe near Picadilly tube during the early hours of the morning...Nightclub bouncers outside "Tiger Tiger" witnessed a silver Merc being driven erratically before stopping after striking a rubbish bin, the driver bailed out and legged it...it's been confirmed that there is no "Irish connection" meaning that the suspects are likely "Islamic Extremists"...Central London is closed while scene of crime and forentics teams get to work...traffic is in chaos as a result...

...the former head of the Flying Squad, one John O'Connor has been quoted as saying the perpitrator had most likely "bottled it"...another witness has been quoted as saying that they saw a number of gas cylinders and a huge quantity of nails being removed from the vehicle...

Welcome to office, Mr Brown...

Online Marketing 07

So yesterday took a trip up to Angel to visit the NMA sponsored Online Marketing 07 conference, got a little bit lost trying to actually find the place, happening first upon the tradesmens entrance in Liverpool Road, and being directed to walk around the block (back the way I had come) by a burley security guard when I tried to follow a lorry driver in through the loading bay -

- so, I finally managed to locate the *proper* way in -

- where there was a queue of about 20 people waiting to pick up their badges (which I joined the back of), the person who was two in front of me hadn't registered, so was sent, blushing, to go and fill out his demographics by the front door and then (like a naughty school boy) join the back of the queue, next the person in front of me (who smiled smugly and presented her filled out demographic form) was then left stuttering when it was announced that the "on the door" registrants had to pay TWENTY QUID ADMISSION! "But why is it so much?" she asked, to be told "Admin costs", "But it's free to register online!" she protested (to a shrug and a "sorry"), at which she acidly flicked over her credit card...(personally I would have gone and found a cyber cafe or walked up to the library and registered rather than cough up, but she probably just expensed it)... ;) Anyway, being a good boy, and having pre-registered, I handed over my e-ticket, collected my complimentary "Doubleclick" neck strap, attached my newly printed name badge to it, and headed towards the doors...being handed a complimentary bag of popcorn (courtesy of "Big Mouth Media") as I did so... ;)

Muching handfulls, I wandering the stalls, spotting (and politely endured sales pitches from) content management providers, SEO/Search specialists, end to end agencies, SEO/Search specialists, design studios, SEO/Search specialists, email and banner serving providers, SEO/Search specialists, the odd new media association (trying to invent themselves), SEO/Search specialists and yet more SEO/Search specialists (who by then I was hurrying past with my NMA carrier bag in front of my head) -

- went to a number of the (generally very interesting) workshops, the best of which (about current general marketing strategy and trends) was largely ruined by the young lad who was *supposed* to be doing the AV for the PA system, but seemed much more interested in sneaking bits of his Burger King lunch from the drawer beneath the controls) -

- tut...anyway, had a really good day, will certainly attend again, as it's facinating to see things from the "other side" (i.e. what the marketeers are being advised to do, going forward), oh and I also got a load of pens, and (a *real* coup) a doubleclick T-Shirt (when I volunteered us to be on the public beta for their widget dashboard) (don't ask)... ;)

Bon Nuit...

Your own, free, custom Flickr Logo

Get yours from these guys - http://flickr.nosv.org/ - now you can while away the hours thinking up rude ones (ending in "R") and guffawing to yourself... ;)

Severe Weather Warnings - South East England

Oh dear, not the sort of thing one expects to normally see on a map of the south eastern portion of the United Kingdom...the red bits on the map above are regions where the MET Office have issued "Severe Weather Warnings", this means danger to the public, in this case, in the form of flooding or dangerous road conditions...or in First Capital Connect's case, the railway, being about the only main route into London which regularly has to close due to flooding (at Moorgate, this time)...and this may shock you, they managed to close it due to flooding *this* morning, before the rain has even hit! Knocked out by the weather little Alexander managed to ignore while walking around the farm yesterday, impressive, eh?

Anyway, we will see what happens (The Express is confidently annoucing that we are due to have the wettest day in 50 years), but it's not due to hit us here in London until about 1330hrs...meaning I could be in for quite a soaking on the way home (assuming all the trains and buses are even running)!

Update - So, made it home, only one shower en route, even managed to make the direct bus, did, however, get back to find the new gazebo absolutely ruined, poles twisted out of all recognition, and Wimbledon coverage on the TV is just showing replays, so there are obviously pockets of what the rest of the country is suffering around this area!

Bocketts Farm review

So (and quite why we picked the very beginning of the Wimbledon fortnight to do this, I really cannot *begin* explain - and - having lived in Wimbledon, I am doubly guilty), today was the day we had decided to take little Alexander to celebrate (a slightly belated) birthday surprise at Bocketts Farm -

- which is actually still a working farm, as well as providing all sorts of visitor facilities (thank *goodness*) including plenty to do *indoors*...

...Alexander started (despite the rain) to get really rather excited (dashing off ahead of us across the car park!), the minute I mentioned that there might be the chance of seeing some geese -

- which, while relishing the rain, were doing so right at the extent of my zoom lens (he loved the glimpse anyway), but rather than stand and watch we dived into cover inside the main barn -

- what followed was almost an hour just following him (smiling), as he *ran* from animal to animal in amazed joy, pointed out "eep!", "raddit!", "igs!"', "tow!" and "oat!" (etc.) -


- although he missed the miserable looking Llama who some cruel git had shaved leaving an 80's footballer's haircut (he was *not* amused) -

- Anyway, at the appointed time, we went into the animal encounter room to witness (drum roll please!) the "Goat Milking"- in the poor old thing was lead (to a chorus of "Awwww!", "I don't loike it!" and "Why is it limping Mummy?" from the little kids lining the room) -

- but despite *repeated* good humoured attempts to get it to mount the milking position (including, eventually some obviously difficult "backside" encouragement), in the end the poor old thing was lead back out of the room, and a younger substitute was brought in (much to everyone's relief) -

- this new goat, called "Shandy" I think, hopped up as soon as it smelt the grub, and stood good as gold -

- until a thick creamy jug of fresh milk had been extracted (6-8 pints per day, apparently!) -

- the young man then got up, announced he was now "kn*ckered" (to a laugh from most of the watching crowd), and then a very brave little chick, and a very patient little rabbit were quickly paraded around the room, so everyone little could have a tiny gentle stroke.

Once all this was done, we all paraded out, back into the barn but it was *still* raining outside, in the lack of *much* else to do (Alexander being too young for the adventure playground) we decided to brave it anyway -

- checking out some of the larger wildlife -

- who were kicking their stable doors (I imagine as normally they would have been let out to do Pony rides by now) -

- a lot of ducks, who couldn't care less about the inclement conditions, and some wonderful gardens -

- with some incredible residents -

- (driven back by the rain) we then stopped for a bit of lunch in the large "Tea shop", which was actually a licensed restaurant, shame the toasted sandwich they brought me (Bacon and Stilton) came largely devoid of bacon, but to their credit they took it back and made me a proper one without too many excuses - "but it's just been chopped up a bit, look, we all do them differently" - which was swiftly answered by a pointing finger at Mr S's plump and fine sarnie next door, which was positively overflowing with bacon, whereas mine appeared to have 3 sliced lardons that had accidentally slipped in, after which it had obviously been run over by a traction engine), anyway - after lunch the rain had let off a little bit, so we went and took the tractor ride around the site (an extra few quid) -

- which was very exciting -

- taking us up through "Scarecrow wood" -

- which was like something out of a horror film quite honestly -

- the rotten, deformed and limp, sack covered bodies, hung from trees being snorted and snuffled around by fat looking pigs (Hannibal, anyone?) -

- anyway, Alexander seemed to enjoy every minute of it, and in fact, quite amazingly, in the distance from the top of the hill, it was quite possible to pick out Canary Wharf (all the way into central London), even on this largely rainy day!

We were driven, hanging onto our lunch, back down to the barn, and that was where the day drew to a close - and despite the weather, I think I can safely say, a lovely day was had by all! I can heartily recommend it as a fun-filled day out (if accompanied by a young family member, of course)...otherwise you would have the whole thing done in about 90 minutes... ;)

Harry Potter and the Idiotic Hacker

So, the new (and final) book, "Deathly Hallows" (for which I am waiting in breathless anticipation) is now drawing close to dropping onto my doormat...I finished reading my most recent non-fiction a couple of weeks ago (another Falklands war piece, this time focusing on the (slightly badly conducted, if the author is to be believed) battle for Goose Green) and then hungrily began re-consuming the "Half-Blood Prince"...

I am now merely pages from finishing it (for the second time), and had quite forgotten quite what an astonishingly emotional roller-coaster it actually is to read (now having brushed away a few involuntary tears, and struggled to stifle numerous giggles on the train on more occasions than I would like to admit)...

So imagine my considerable annoyance (and alarm) to learn that some absolute *idiot* has not only hacked the publishers of the new book (emailed them a custom virus), but managed to find numerous digital editions of the new piece (despite the fact that in order to prevent piracy they publicly announced there was to be no such thing), scattered around various workstations in their business, and then gleefully read the last few pages and publicly posted on the internet (on a prominent hacker forum) a complete summary of which of the main characters snuff it, and exactly what happens to conclude the series...

What an asshole...It can't be a small number of people that actually *don't* want this surprise ruined...and frankly, apart from Flyingpops (who does occasionally start a book from the back, for some odd reason), I can't imagine *anyone* who would thank him/her for their pointless efforts...

Still, it's always possible this is another hoax, we can't forget the *complete book* that someone (totally inept) wasted their time writing before the release of number 4 that got leaked onto the internet...*pfft*...

Anyway, article here, if you want to read about it...(it's spoiler free)...

Kings Place, York Way - Finishing touches

Got in super early today, so I thought I would take a quick peek at what's going on with Kings Place (just up the road from my office) and it looks like they are almost done with it, most notably you can now clearly see where they are going to attach the wave-like glass facade to the front of the building, it's certainly changed quite a bit since my last pics, really starting to look like a building, rather than a building site now... ;)

On the train this evening...

...just pulling into Redhill, the announcement came over the public address system -

"We are just coming over dead bill"
(long pause)
"Swapping here for died bait, if you need..."
(very long pause)
"and cheese"
(short pause)
"Thank you"

After much smiling, shaking of heads and shrugging of shoulders, the carriage erupted in laughter... ;)

Another manic weekend...

I'll try and flickr some pictures later on, but yet again a super manic weekend working up to, enjoying, and then tidying up from, our engagement party BBQ...last minute shopping on Friday night in Tesco, then up at the crack of dawn on Saturday (getting to the butchers before he had even made a start on putting our order together (24 burgers, 16 prime serloin steaks, 20 jumbo sausages, 40 chicken quarters and 8 racks of baby back ribs)) then got home and made a start on the salads (1 plum tomato, mozerella and onion with balsamic dressing, one garlic, basil and chive pasta salad, one mayo and sweetcorn, one sliced italian tomato, basil and mozerella with cracked black pepper and olive oil, one mixed leaf (mostly romaine and baby spinach) then just sliced mixed peppers, spring onions and cucumber for dipping). Next I made a start on the meat prep, ribs were marinaded in either Wing Yip Hoi Sin, Peri Peri BBQ, San Fran sticky honey BBQ or New Hampshire "Hot Bone Suckin' rib" sauce and cooked very slowly for 1.5 hours, chicken was seasoned and cooked until the juices ran clear, sausages started in the oven (until just starting to go brown), and burgers went straight to the BBQ, where everything else was finished off. Flyingpops mum brought a large number of quiches and helped get all the tables ready while I was cooking (and we watched with dismay as heavy shower after heavy shower doused the garden), then Gayle arrived bearing a *huge* banner she had made (saying "CONGRATULATIONS", which was shortly joined by another banner that had been hand decorated by little Alexander, with help from his mum... ;)
Then *my* mum arrived bringing 5 incredible deserts (pictures of all this later, as I mentioned before)...and the party really started to get going, luckily the weather held off and everyone could spread out around the garden, my Dad and Stuart handled the BBQs while I cooked the steaks to order (as and when people wanted them) on my griddle pan...

A really good do, but it would have been impossible to cater for everyone without all the help, thanks everyone!! :)

Sunday I was up pretty early, and joined in helping Ratty and Jinx do a bit of tidying up while Flyingpops had a lay in, then she awoke and between us we finished off the house, taking a quick break to zoom to Redhill aerodrome for a spot of "full english" action to top up the blood sugar levels, I then collapsed for a little nap on the sofa outside, and in the evening I cooked Moroccan lamb with boiled potatos and corn on the cob for tea while we watched the Grand Prix (Well done again Mr Hamilton!)...

London Lite - Copy mistake - Play.com

(spotted at the foot of page 3 of the London Lite newspaper, Wednesday 13th of June, 2007)
Anything ring just slightly *wrong* about this ad to you?

I suspect someone may be in trouble... ;) If not, of course, I will welcome my £6.99 copy of Forza Motorsport 2 for the xbox 360...however, if you ask me to pay £40 for the Katie Price book, you can **** off... ;)

Night Terrors

I was just about drifting off to sleep at about half eleven last night, swimming half way between the land of nod and reality when the peaceful dripping from one of the bathroom taps (it's still not quite used to being under full water pressure), was suddenly interrupted by Flyingpops letting out the single most blood curdling scream (absolutely at the top of her voice) that I have *ever*, *EVER* heard...it was the kind of scream that should only really come out of the mouth of someone watching their baby falling into a mincing machine, or their boyfriend being decapitated by grizzly bears...it was absolutely *heart-stopping*...suffice it to say I woke bolt upright (wondering who had been murdered) and span over, to find Flyingpops shaking her head a little, at which point she said "Where am I Fink?"...shaking myself into rationality I just about managed a "You are safe and sound in bed, but I wouldn't be bloody surprised if half the street hasn't just called the police!" at which she rolled over and went straight back to sleep...I think it took me an hour before I was able to relax enough to loosen my fingers from where they had locked around the pillow...

I might have to confiscate that Ken Follett book she is reading, images of torture and throat slitting running around in her subconscious are not congenial with me getting a peaceful night's sleep...

Busy Weekend

So, super busy weekend (which was extremely hot, and just to compound matters I had a stinking cold)...Saturday we got up reasonably early (and in roughly this chronological order) visited the butchers to pre-order all the meat for the BBQ next weekend (hopefully we will have enough), went and bought serving platters and disposable plates, drove to Homebase and bought an *enormous* Gazebo (which was on a really good offer price), went to Morrisons to buy a few more cases of beer (again, a really good offer) and do about half of the weeks food shopping (not on purpose, we just didn't pick up enough), after loading the car I walked down half a row to the nearest trolley bay (we had to park right at the back of the car park) and find, to my extreme annoyance that it has none of those chains to recover your quid, and so have to walk all the way around into the next row of cars (cursing under my breath)), come home and put the Gazebo up in the garden (securing it as best we can to fences and trees but not being *entirely* satisfied we went back out to the car and zoomed into Redhill on a quest for those large metal pins (the ones used used to secure the orange netting stuff that workmen put around roadworks) - we visited the huge hardware store at the top of the hill (Mortons), who in a state of bafflement took us all the way through the shop and pointed hopefully at those metal things you can use to reinforce fence posts (nope), then down to a builders merchant, who clued me in on the proper name "Oh, 4ft Road Pins you mean" but was "Sorry, all out mate...", then on to the only other remaining place, a trade hire shop opposite, who *also* didn't have any, but did helpfully suggest we try the place we had just come out of...Oh well...So then back home and moved the PC out the way of the patio doors and then dragged all the chairs and the sofa into the garden (under the new Gazebo, just in case it rained). We started up Colin the Camper (who seemed to be behaving himself) went and put some petrol in him, and then drove all the way over to Dorking to pick up our new sofa and chairs (even one that reclines!) which took two trips (so took, in all about two and a half hours), during which Colin was starting to cough and splutter, borrowed 3 road pins from Flyingpops' folks, and then had the journey home from hell with Colin cutting out, backfiring and stalling at every single set of traffic lights (wonderful)...finally limped him home and resisted the urge to kick his tyres and put his leasure battery on charge instead, then hoisted everything over the fence or through the front door and assembled our new living room (which looks very nice)...Changed into new clothes (as soaked with sweat) then went out and banged in the road pins (on the three gazebo legs where this was possible and used cable ties to secure it all together) tidied up the garden as best we could ready for Sunday. Sat down then and watched most of the GP qualifying, but went out before the light faded to tie a tarpaulin around the furniture outside, then collapsed in front of Saturday night TV (which was largely crap except that new Simon Cowell/Ant and Dec talent show which was genuinely amusing, and Dr Who (which was probably the best episode I have *ever* seen), during the crap TV I finally got round to reading through the procedures for flashing the new firmware onto the PSP (and, satisfied I wasn't going to brick it, downloaded the files and sucessfully flashed it, been meaning to do that for about 3 months). Hopped into the bath (and then went to bed) absolutely shattered...

Sunday, up early(ish) again, bagged up and loaded up the car with *loads* of garden rubbish (left over from the garden makeover) plus all the old stuff from the kitchen cupboards and zoomed off to the dump (which was already heaving with people), sorted everything into it's recycling bins and then drove into Redhill (stopping to fill up the car with petrol) to get the rest of the weeks food shop (at Sainsburys this time), Flyingpops tried to pop into Choices (but we were too early and couldn't wait because we had frozen food (ice creams ;)), next it was off to the Reigate and Redhill gardeners association HQ opposite Earlswood Lakes to buy them out of the lovely rose coloured stones we had put on three quarters of the front garden last week (and some pepper dust to discourage the cats, some copper strips to discourage snails and slugs, and some slug pellets to finish them off if they manage to get past it) and then drove back home. Put the frozen stuff in the freezer, then finished off the remainder of the front garden (noting with some dismay that moving our rose last week seems to have killed it), I hoovered all the ants and spiders out of the back of the car and then we started on the washing (did about 4 loads in all) inbetween which I failed to put up the roller blind in the kitchen (Flyingpops dad is going to come and help with that) and we zoomed over to Merstham to pick up the gas BBQ from Flyingpops brother for next week (getting oil and rust flakes all over the lovely freshly hoovered car boot in the process), manhandled that into the garden (gas bottle weighs about 100 kilos) and covered it with my US Army poncho to keep it safe. Moved the whole back garden around into a slightly better layout, and then Flyingpops cleaned all the garden furniture with a bucket of soapy water while I sorted out a pile of about 500 odd socks. I then made lunch, emptied the bin and put all the recycling out. Spent about an hour tidying up my PC (both drives nearly full), which involved a lot of burning DVDs and labelling and then tidied up the tall kitchen cabinets (including all the junk on top of them). Flyingpops fell asleep on the sofa during the Eastenders re-run, so I made a start on Sunday dinner, then munched it excitedly watching the Grand Prix (awesome race, well done Mr Hamilton, winning despite 4 safety cars!), as light began to fade I ran out and grabbed a couple of snaps of the wild flowers around the pond out back, topped up the water garden, and applied pepper dust and slug pellets to the entire garden, I then sat and stuck the copper strip onto the strawberry trough, using a knife to score it (which you need to do for some reason to discourage snails too)...really don't think we could have squeezed anything else into that amount of time if we had tried...zzz...

Update - this morning, the alarm goes off (and I wake, vainly wishing for another weekend now to just spend enjoying the sunshine and recovering, but it is not to be), we almost miss the train by getting caught at the lights by the Causway, and there are no parking spaces, but luckily it's delayed, this means we get to London Bridge a few minutes late only to find that all the buses are in total gridlock and this part of London is at a standstill, I wait in the enormous queue for the 17 bus for as long as I can stand (watching the lights at the end of the road flick uslessly from red to amber to green, having no impact on the traffic at all), then Flyingpops rings to say she looked down the road and nothing is moving as far as the eye can see. I give up and run down into the tube but the Northern line barriers are shut (I was actually quite pleased as I hate the Northen Line) leaving me no choice but to either walk the whole way or clamber up to platform six and wait for the next Thameslink. Thameslink then, still manage to get in on time, somehow(??)...boot up my laptop to find 216 emails awaiting my attention, and my entire working week stretching out (into infinity) ahead of me...

It's official, I need a vacation...

Sean Victor Willmott - Little lost Answerphone

Who is "Sean Victor Willmott"? Well, one thing is for certain, Sean is a man with a *zero* sized internet footprint. His name is one of those rare queries that results (when entered into Google) in absolutely *zero* results. Sean, congratulations - you have managed to keep a rather low profile...(until now)... ;)

I think this puts us somewhere between a googlewhack and a googlewhatblatt (or maybe *just* more likely than both (as we are using three words - but they *are* in quote marks which makes an exact match the only option)... ;)

You may be wondering why I am asking who Mr Willmott is? Well, this was delivered to the house the other day (opened it way before I checked the label with anything other than a "correct address" glance) confusion took me back to the label after the odd contents -

- right address, wrong name (looks like an ebay error to me)...anyway, it was posted from the UK, via Royal Mail, posting cost £5 - check what they charged you for shipping Mr Willmott!

It was in a battered Adidas white "Superstar 11 original", size 12 shoe box (price £49.99), with this tag on the box lid -

- and these naughty ladies, from the "Daily Star" of the 1st of June, wrapped lovingly around it (which I dignified before posting) -

- hope you got a good deal, Sean...for such a cock up of delivery...I hope you, or your seller knows how to use Google, let me know quickly and you can have your (decidedly battered) Audioline 298 "combination phone and answerphone"...I'll hang onto it until the end of the next Google dance, and if you haven't claimed it, it's going back to the post office (as whoever posted it cleverly didn't include a "return to sender address")

Not suprising as it looks like the phone is an old "Mercury" one...I'm not going to test it for you, but seriously- good luck mate...

(oh and I knocked doors a few doors down left and right just in case)...but no joy...

I have huge number of serial numbers from the packaging available also, and probably numerous fingerprints, as it's cased in perfect black plastic (and I know to be careful)...it should be easy to track this to source and destination..and your soft porn pics will be recycled if not claimed also... ;)

London Zoo in pictures

So, Saturday, after we went and did Hatton Garden and had a spot of (Jewish) lunch we set off to London Zoo, I *had* intended it to be a surprise but *stupidly* managed to wonder out loud if they had any lockers to store your bags (when I picked up my slightly heavy rucksack before we left) and totally gave the game away (I fell to the floor clutching my head when I realised what I had done)...we had a lovely time regardless, despite the extremely hot weather...(as you will see many of the animals decided to seek shelter from the suns rays and were rather tricky to shoot, especially the lions, that was a *very* tricky shot to compose, even though it doesn't look like it!) -